Defining our Choices – Walkabout #9

Holly is my web designer and we had been trying to catch up for our walkabout for probably 6 weeks. Something kept getting in the way and it was delightful to meet Holly and Daisy in Falls Park last Friday.

Holly and I met about 9 months ago for coffee in Flat Rock, NC. We sat outside and as we talked, we discovered things we had in common, like UNC-Asheville, single living, being business owners, politics … It was one of those encounters where you feel comfortable right away and are sorry when the time is up, and you both know you have to leave.

As I mentioned, we both own our own businesses, and we recognize the challenges and rewards of working for ourselves. The loneliness of having to be our own inspiration and motivation, as well as appreciating the solitude needed when creating and thinking. The concerns when business is slow and no money is coming in and the rewards of delivering a good product.

We have also been going through an evolution in our businesses. Holly was an event planner who started creating websites to promote events. She was a marketer who used her skills to promote the events on social media. The more she did this work, the more she realized that she really enjoyed the creativity of website creation, and she has migrated from event planning and marketing to creating web designs that help businesses and organizations present themselves in their best light.

When I started Hey, Boomer, it was in response to the pandemic shut down. I knew I needed to feel relevant and useful, and I thought there would be a lot of other people who felt that way also. At the time I really had no other plans than to present an inspiring live show on Facebook. Since that time two years ago, I have learned so much about producing a show and podcasting. I have also been using my coach training to develop and provide What’s Next Coaching to those who are looking at this next chapter of life with some anxiety and confusion. So, my business has been transitioning from delivering one live broadcast a week, into simultaneous live broadcasting, podcasting and coaching.

How nice to have a friend to talk with that can relate to these kinds of changes.

The Park

Falls Park was particularly lovely as we walked the trails within the park. Lush greenery lined the paths and many of the flowers and bulbs were in full bloom. We slipped in behind the stage to walk the stairs there and enjoy the sounds of the creek as it runs down the hill to the Reedy River. This also gave Daisy a chance to lap up some of the cool waters of the creek.

The temperature was perfect. Started out cool and looked like rain, but it warmed up and the clouds cleared. As we wrapped up our walk, we sat outside with coffee and continued our conversation. Seems to be a pattern of coffee drinking with us.

Defining Your Lifestyle

Holly and I have lived on our own for a while. There are parts about living alone that we really like. We are the masters of our own time. We can have as much quiet time to read or work or write as we want. We can wake up when we want to and go to sleep when we want to. We can eat what we want … when we want. We can listen to any music we like or watch any TV show we like. Solitary living can be very nice, especially if you have introvert tendencies. We both find that we need our quiet time to recharge.

And yet, we both enjoy being in a relationship. It is figuring out how to share space and share time that is the challenge (opportunity), especially at our time in life when we have set patterns and habits.

We talked about this. We talked about reframing our thinking around this. We don’t have to share space and time the way anyone else does. We can define, with our partners, how it works best for us. Is one of you a morning person and the other likes to sleep in? Do you prefer to read at night and your partner wants to go out regularly? What about meals, are you a meal planner and they like to graze? Is marriage in the cards, living together, or living apart – together, which is gaining popularity. Probably not a one-time conversation, but an important conversation.

Boomers – redefining again

The Boomer generation has been one of redefinition. From the women’s movement and birth control, to couples choosing to have children or not, to women having careers and now redefining this next chapter of our lives.

What’s Next is up to each of us. Politically, socially, environmentally, culturally, we can all choose how we want to create our own realities and involvements.