What Happens in a Community Banter?

“Tell us your name, where you are living and a movie that scared you when you were young.”

That is the icebreaker we used for the first Hey, Boomer Banter. We had people joining us from New Hampshire, Connecticut, Georgia, South Carolina, California, Maryland, Pennsylvania and Florida. And the scary movies?

  • The Blog
  • The Birds
  • The Exorcist
  • House of 13 Ghosts
  • Last House on the Left
  • Dracula
  • Halloween (the first one)
  • The Wizard of Oz (the flying monkeys)
  • Rosemary’s Baby
  • Psycho
  • Chainsaw Massacre

These folks knew their scary movies!

A banter is a playful and friendly exchange, and we certainly had that. We also expanded the definition a bit to include a place to build community and share some ideas. There was laughter, there was reflection, there was connection, and there was listening and encouragement.

The question about scary movies was not just a random question. It got people thinking about things that are scary, which led us into our topic of

Bravery vs Fear (False Evidence Appearing Real)

What does it mean to be brave? What does it mean to Face a Fear? Are they the same thing or different? This was the discussion members of the Banter took into their breakout rooms to think about.

We all agreed that these two ideas are related. Some of the other nuances were:

  • True bravery exists when you overcome a genuine fear and do it anyway.
  • Do we put as much thought into a brave action, as we do when we face a fear?
  • Some thought that facing a fear was more cognitive. You know there is something you want to do that will help you, but you are not comfortable with it (like cold calling or public speaking), so you make a choice to overcome the fear or to work through it.
  • Time element involved. For instance, running into a burning building to save someone would happen very quickly. Mulling over an action to face your fear may even get in your way of taking the action.
  • Facing a fear takes us through an analytical process. What are the risks, benefits, rewards of acting? Bravery is more of an impulsive act. You just do it before taking time to analyze potential outcomes.

With this knowledge, members were next asked to think about what advice they would give to their younger self about facing a fear they might have had. People were really willing to play along with this question. Here are some of the answers.

  • Don’t worry so much about what other people think.
  • Fear and anxiety feel exactly the same in your body as excitement feels. Reframe fear to excitement.
  • Have confidence. Believe in myself. Study music
  • Take more risks, try new things, worry less.
  • If you do what you fear, you’ll gain confidence.
  • Fear is ok, it should not be thought of as bad.
  • Find my voice and speak it loudly with confidence.

Let me leave you with this thought. The things you would tell your younger self, it is not too late to take action on these things now. Baby step actions to build confidence. We are here to support you.

With that in mind, what advice would you give your younger self?

Next month the Banter will be on Tuesday, Feb. 21 from 6:30-7:30pm. In February we will talk about friendships. Past friendships, making new friendships, what it takes to be a friend, what you want from a friend.

Join us as we banter about strategies that have worked, and some that have not, when it comes to friendship. Use this link to join.

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