In this episode of “Hey, Boomer!” host Wendy Green interviews Melissa Davey, a guest who embodies the belief that one is never too old to set new goals or dream new dreams. Melissa, a former executive at a managed care company, shares her journey of reinvention at the age of 65.
Melissa had always been confident in her work, but as she grew older and experienced various life events, she gained even more confidence. At the age of 65, she started feeling that there was more she wanted to do. She took an inventory of her life, she made a list of goals, including writing a book and making a movie.
Melissa’s decision to pursue filmmaking was solidified when she won an opportunity to spend a day on set with acclaimed filmmaker M. Night Shyamalan. Inspired by this experience, she embarked on a two-and-a-half-year journey to create her film, “Beyond 60.” The film showcases the stories of various remarkable women, condensing over 80 hours of interviews into a compelling documentary.
Throughout the episode, both Melissa and Wendy emphasize the importance of resilience and embracing failure as a part of personal growth and development. They encourage listeners to look within themselves, recognize the confidence they have gained from their life experiences, and pursue their passions at any age.
Overall, this episode highlights the transformative power of reinvention and serves as an inspiration for listeners to pursue their dreams and embrace their own second acts.
Key Takeaways
- Confidence that comes with age gives you permission to follow a dream.
- Recognize the importance of resilience in personal growth and development.
- Overcome your fears and be open to new opportunities.
- Surround yourself with people that believe in you and support you.
Contact information:
- EMAIL: wendy@heyboomer.biz
- Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/heyboomerpodcast
- Website: heyboomer.biz
- Boomer Banter: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/HeyBoomer0413
- Boomer Believer: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/HeyBoomer0413
- Private Facebook page: (5) Hey, Boomer – “What’s Next?” | Facebook
Contact Melissa Davey
- Website: https://www.beyondsixty.com
- Instagram: @beyond60project
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BeyondSixtyProject
- Email: melissajdavey@verizon.net
Transcript
Hello and welcome to the hey Boomer Show.
Speaker:This is the show for those of us who believe that we are never
Speaker:too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.
Speaker:My name is Wendy Green and I am your host for Hay
Speaker:Boomer. And our guest today,
Speaker:Melissa Davies, is the embodiment of my
Speaker:favorite quote that you are never too old to set another goal
Speaker:or dream a new dream. At the age of
Speaker:65, Melissa was an executive at
Speaker:a managed care facility or company, and she had no
Speaker:desire to retire. But she also had this
Speaker:nagging question in her mind about
Speaker:what did I always want to do that I'm not going to get to
Speaker:do if I don't try it soon?
Speaker:So we never know how much time we
Speaker:have left. And that's a question that comes up a lot when I'm talking to
Speaker:people that are getting ready to retire or thinking about retirement,
Speaker:and they're like, what am I going to do? And the question
Speaker:is, what have you always wanted to do? But then there are those things that
Speaker:stop us. We call them know, am I too
Speaker:old? Other people are going to think I'm crazy.
Speaker:I wouldn't even know where to start. So
Speaker:we're going to talk to Melissa about some of this. But what she did
Speaker:was she started out with making a list of some of the
Speaker:things that she thought she would like to do that she had been putting
Speaker:off. And then something happened.
Speaker:The universe, I would say, intervened and
Speaker:gave her that little extra push that she needed
Speaker:to get started. So we're going to hear her story in
Speaker:just a moment. But
Speaker:did you know that there are multiple ways that you
Speaker:can connect with the Hay Boomer community?
Speaker:When you listen live, like some of you are doing now on Facebook,
Speaker:LinkedIn and YouTube, you can always add comments. We love
Speaker:to see the hellos. We also love to see the questions that come
Speaker:in and your comments, what you're learning from the
Speaker:episode. So feel free to participate in the comments.
Speaker:You can also download the Life Vitality
Speaker:assessment from the Hayboomer homepage
Speaker:and that will also subscribe you too our email list, where you will
Speaker:find out about upcoming shows and sometimes
Speaker:what I'm thinking about during the week. You can
Speaker:join our Boomer Banter or you can become a Boomer
Speaker:Believer. So the Boomer Banter is our online
Speaker:community and we meet once a month
Speaker:for companionship and discussion and laughing
Speaker:and learning. And we're building a
Speaker:community there. It's really a wonderful place
Speaker:and you can support the creative work that we're doing
Speaker:also as a Boomer Believer. So that's a
Speaker:monthly contribution. Or you can join
Speaker:our Facebook group. I'm going to share the links for how to
Speaker:do all of that in the show notes and in
Speaker:the takeaway clip that I will leave you with from the
Speaker:show. But before I do
Speaker:bring I want too bring melissa on and
Speaker:tell you a little bit about her. Hello,
Speaker:melissa. Hello, Wendy.
Speaker:I'm so glad you're here. So let me tell your story because it's so
Speaker:inspiring, and I think people are going to get a lot from this.
Speaker:So melissa is a documentary filmmaker who
Speaker:lives in valley forge, Pennsylvania. She's a wife,
Speaker:a mother, a grandmother to three young boys, and she's a world
Speaker:traveler and with a strong sense of curiosity.
Speaker:Melissa retired after more than two decades from
Speaker:GenX services, where she built and operated the
Speaker:company's Social Security representation division.
Speaker:GenX is the largest managed care case
Speaker:management organization in the US. Prior to
Speaker:that, melissa had almost 20 years of diversified experience in the
Speaker:field of disability. She had held senior leadership
Speaker:and management positions throughout her career.
Speaker:Melissa's second act is fueled by a lifelong
Speaker:passion for film and storytelling.
Speaker:So we want to hear about that. Melissa, I teased a little
Speaker:bit about how you came to this
Speaker:reinvention idea of being a filmmaker, but would you fill in the gaps for us,
Speaker:please? Yeah, sure. And thank you for having
Speaker:me. It's always fun to get to chat with other
Speaker:women you mentioned.
Speaker:I was 65, and I was in my corporate career when
Speaker:I had been in it for more than two decades at that
Speaker:point. And it was great. It
Speaker:was wonderful. It was one of the best jobs I've had, and I've
Speaker:had three or four different iterations of myself in the working
Speaker:world. But it was something
Speaker:about turning 65, and it certainly wasn't
Speaker:the company because they weren't ageist in any way. They
Speaker:had a lot of people who were my age.
Speaker:It was a very large national company.
Speaker:And I was sitting at my desk and I was like, gosh, I wonder,
Speaker:I really don't want to die at my desk. That used to be kind of
Speaker:a joke with my colleagues. And they would be like, what
Speaker:are you talking about? And they were just happy to keep moving
Speaker:along. And there was piece of
Speaker:dissatisfaction. And that surrounded
Speaker:me taking a look and inventory at my life and saying,
Speaker:have I really done all the things I want to do?
Speaker:And I had done a lot. So I'd had different careers, I'd
Speaker:had children, grandchildren, a
Speaker:marriage, all the things that would fulfill
Speaker:you. I traveled a lot, internationally as well as
Speaker:in the country, and so it was a fulfilling
Speaker:life. But when I really sat down and said, well, what
Speaker:are all these things that if I made a checklist,
Speaker:haven't I done that really, really want to do? And it was more
Speaker:than just saying, oh, take a trip to istanbul or
Speaker:whatever do at some point, whether I
Speaker:was working or not. So I made the list, and
Speaker:crazy things were on the list, like learn how to play a saxophone, and
Speaker:I don't read music. So that one fell off the list pretty
Speaker:quickly. But film was always I've always been
Speaker:interested in film and storytelling. So it's like write a
Speaker:book, make a movie. And they kept staying at
Speaker:the top, tell stories.
Speaker:And so I just started thinking about it. And then one
Speaker:day, two things happened in the midst
Speaker:of all this, and they happened simultaneously. And one was
Speaker:the CEO that I reported to came to me and said, oh, we're being
Speaker:bought again by private Equity.
Speaker:Because that had happened a few times in my
Speaker:Gen X. And he said, you know what that means? It means you're going to
Speaker:have to sign up again for another commitment for five years.
Speaker:Which normally I would just say, oh yeah, okay, that's great. But that's
Speaker:when I was 65 and I saw that number, 70,
Speaker:and I thought, oh yeah, will I be at the
Speaker:desk at 70? And then what will be after that? Will
Speaker:I wait and everything changes with yeah,
Speaker:it does. So that was the seed. And that
Speaker:was while I'm doing the list, I'm listening to this. This is happening.
Speaker:I went to a meeting in DC. The meeting know, a congressional
Speaker:meeting about Social Security. And I've been
Speaker:going there for years, and it was like Groundhog Day
Speaker:because the meeting never seemed to accomplish too
Speaker:much. And I remember sitting there with a friend of mine saying,
Speaker:I'm going to leave early today. I've had enough of this. We are not
Speaker:moving forward in my lifetime on these issues that have
Speaker:been at the forefront for 20 years. So I left and
Speaker:I came home and I didn't go to work. It was still early in the
Speaker:day. And I hooked up with a friend who I hadn't seen in a year
Speaker:because I was so busy. And I took a ride with
Speaker:her to pick up her daughter from school. And it's in
Speaker:the country out here near Valley Forge. And
Speaker:we were going up a dirt road to drop her daughter off at the horse
Speaker:barn where she worked after school. And
Speaker:she said, I come up here every day and I think they're
Speaker:making a movie over there. Take a look. So we drove up
Speaker:and dirt road, funny day. And I could
Speaker:see the cameras and I could see the lights, and I was like, yeah, definitely
Speaker:looks like a movie. So we dropped off Grace, her
Speaker:daughter came back around, and we sat down
Speaker:on the road in front of all this activity.
Speaker:And I said, you know, I bet I know who it is because it's
Speaker:creepy looking. It
Speaker:was a creepy vibe. The day was creepy. The
Speaker:trees were creepy, the lighting was wild,
Speaker:and it's Pennsylvania, and it's Chester County,
Speaker:Pennsylvania. And I thought, well, you know who makes movies here all the time?
Speaker:M night Shyamalan So I whipped out my iPhone
Speaker:and just put his name in. And sure enough,
Speaker:up comes a picture of him saying, M. Night
Speaker:Shyamalan's. Making a micro budget film in Chester
Speaker:County, Pennsylvania. And when I looked at his website,
Speaker:the picture on his website was where we were sitting.
Speaker:And I had just taken a picture of this incredibly beautiful
Speaker:but creepy view of this long driveway with all these
Speaker:craggly trees and the dark sky and the sun hitting and
Speaker:he had it on his website. So I said, well, it's definitely
Speaker:him. And there was a little button that said Charity Buzz and I
Speaker:didn't know what it was, so I hit it. And when I hit Charity
Speaker:Buzz, I learned that he had an educational foundation
Speaker:and it said Win a day on the set with M. Night Shyamalan
Speaker:and all the proceeds that you would bet
Speaker:would go to his foundation. So my girlfriend is like, you've got to
Speaker:do it. This is like Kismet, you need to do this right.
Speaker:So I did. Right while we were sitting there, I hit
Speaker:the Charity Buzz red button and I started bidding.
Speaker:It seemed that it was just me and a dentist
Speaker:from New Jersey who kept oh my know, other people were
Speaker:falling off and we just kept bidding. So short
Speaker:story is, I was at work about a week later and I had my
Speaker:phone up because I knew that I had kept bidding that
Speaker:night before and that they were going to announce that day and they
Speaker:announced that it was me that won the day on the set
Speaker:with Mr. Shyamalan. So in the next two,
Speaker:you know, after signing all the NDAs, there I was
Speaker:with him behind the camera and the entire crew for 8 hours
Speaker:in Philadelphia doing a scene for his film
Speaker:The Visit. And wow at
Speaker:that's
Speaker:a message. That's a message that's like, you're on the right track.
Speaker:This is here. Here's how you do it.
Speaker:Yeah. And I thoroughly enjoyed the
Speaker:experience so much. He was kind of
Speaker:laughing about the fact that I was so excited about it. And he
Speaker:really was very accommodating. He had me behind the camera telling
Speaker:me what he was doing, asking me what I thought I was with the
Speaker:crew. It was an amazing day.
Speaker:And we sat together at lunch and he said,
Speaker:I've never done Charity Buzz before and I'm so glad it was you and not
Speaker:some person that showed up with a script in their hand for me to read.
Speaker:And we were laughing about that. And he asked me what I
Speaker:did for work and I tried to explain it to him quickly, which
Speaker:isn't easy for somebody who's probably never heard
Speaker:of insurance and managed care and Social Security.
Speaker:And he looked at me really quizzically and he said,
Speaker:oh, what do you really want to do? And I said
Speaker:I said, I want your job. And he said, oh, you better hurry
Speaker:up. And he was kidding. And it
Speaker:hit me right in the middle of the stomach.
Speaker:And I remember it was just such an
Speaker:odd feeling because I knew that when he said that, he was
Speaker:kidding. But it was exactly what I needed to hear
Speaker:because he was right. I was 65 years old,
Speaker:and if I'm going to do this, I think I
Speaker:better seriously think about doing it now. So it was really at that
Speaker:moment, and it sounds cavalier and I don't mean it to
Speaker:that I said, I'm going to make a movie. I
Speaker:don't know what it is yet, but I think I'm going to try this.
Speaker:I'm going to do this. And by the time I got home that night, my
Speaker:husband couldn't wait to hear what I had. He knew how excited I
Speaker:was and he's like, so so what happened? How was it?
Speaker:And I said, John, I am going to quit my job
Speaker:and I am going to make a movie. And he just kind
Speaker:of looked at me and,
Speaker:you know, he knows I get excited about things. And the next
Speaker:day, I did go to the CEO and say, I'm going to put in my
Speaker:notice. It'll be a very long one because I wanted to make sure
Speaker:that I left the organization and
Speaker:the division that I was responsible for in good hands, so
Speaker:I would need to mentor somebody. So I gave a year's notice and I
Speaker:figured that would be a safe time for me to also begin this
Speaker:film process. So that's how it got kick started.
Speaker:That is such an amazing story
Speaker:of things happening when they needed to happen and giving you
Speaker:the push you needed. You said you
Speaker:didn't know what you were going to make a movie about, right? You didn't have
Speaker:any idea at that point. At that night when I went
Speaker:to bed, I did think about it. I was like, Wait a minute.
Speaker:I just said out loud to a couple of people, I'm going to make a
Speaker:movie, so I do need to figure out what
Speaker:that means. And I knew that I wasn't at a point to
Speaker:write a script. That's not what I was ready
Speaker:to do. And I knew what I was comfortable with, and that was
Speaker:storytelling and hearing stories from people, that was part
Speaker:of my life, part of my work. And so that was going to be
Speaker:comfortable. And then it just hit me, I'm
Speaker:65. Why not talk to other women
Speaker:who are over the age of 60, who have great stories to tell,
Speaker:to show people that they're still relevant, that
Speaker:they are resilient people. They've had all kinds
Speaker:of life experiences and their stories will
Speaker:resonate with people and hopefully make people think about their own
Speaker:stories and their own lives and maybe even prompt some people
Speaker:to try something new. So that's when I decided,
Speaker:I'm going to do interviews with women over the age of
Speaker:60 and let's just see what happens. And that's how 2nd
Speaker:60 was created.
Speaker:Melissa so you gave a year's notice. Did
Speaker:you have any trepidation during that
Speaker:time, that year of, what am I thinking? I'm going to
Speaker:leave this secure job and I'm going to go off into the wilderness and
Speaker:make this movie, and I don't know how to make a movie.
Speaker:I wasn't worried about learning something new
Speaker:because at 65 and you've had a lot of jobs and
Speaker:you've been real responsible for building
Speaker:divisions and companies and whatnot. I was pretty
Speaker:confident that even though I didn't know something,
Speaker:that I could learn it and I could surround myself with the people
Speaker:that I needed to make that happen. So that part wasn't
Speaker:scary. The walking away from the security
Speaker:of the money and the identity related to
Speaker:that earning power was a
Speaker:little bit nerve wracking. But giving myself that year
Speaker:of still being paid while I was putting
Speaker:this idea into play gave
Speaker:me a certain sense of security. So I didn't just quit my
Speaker:job and walk out the next day and sit at home and say,
Speaker:okay, now what do I do? I
Speaker:felt kind of almost like I was embraced to
Speaker:do this. Like, okay, the CEO and all the people I
Speaker:worked with knew I was doing this and they did embrace
Speaker:me and they did know that I was on the side. I was
Speaker:creating this movie process that I would walk
Speaker:into the day that I finally left the company.
Speaker:And it was that way. I had it set up that by the time
Speaker:I walked out the door, I had already done the first three
Speaker:interviews of the nine women and I was playing
Speaker:with, what am I going to do with this? Is it going to be a
Speaker:full fledged film? Is it going to be a short?
Speaker:Somebody even said maybe it'd be a podcast with different women
Speaker:that you would interview. But my hope was that it
Speaker:would be a film and that's what I turned it
Speaker:into. Watching the
Speaker:movie, I had so many thoughts going through my head
Speaker:about how did you decide,
Speaker:I'm going to do a little clip here and a little clip there and a
Speaker:little clip here, and the visuals that you
Speaker:used, like the swimming and the
Speaker:actress, how did you decide
Speaker:to tie all of that together? I mean, that had to take a lot
Speaker:of layout and thought and talking to
Speaker:people. Yes. And I went out. The first
Speaker:thing I did when I decided I was going to make this film was I
Speaker:went out and I found a production company in Philadelphia
Speaker:who was very interested in working with me on this. So
Speaker:they were all in late twenty s to late thirty s and they
Speaker:were my mentors. I was 65. They're showing me the
Speaker:ropes of what needs to be done to get a film done. So
Speaker:I use their camera people and I use their
Speaker:lighting and their sound. And then we put this
Speaker:together over a more than two and a half year period.
Speaker:That's how long it took to complete almost three years
Speaker:before it was out for viewing.
Speaker:And I learned a lot in the process.
Speaker:And when I would do each of the long interviews,
Speaker:like nine women, they probably had six to 8 hours
Speaker:of interview for each one. Actually, it was more
Speaker:than that because I think I ended up with 80 hours of tape.
Speaker:And it was trying to figure out, how do I get this to like, an
Speaker:hour, hour and a half and really tell the
Speaker:stories of each of these women? Because I think that they each had
Speaker:a very important message to send.
Speaker:It was trial and error and one thing that when I looked at
Speaker:them, when they were full interviews altogether, it
Speaker:was too much like talking heads. I thought I would lose people
Speaker:in the process. So we did start to play
Speaker:with let's just give a taste of Peggy in the
Speaker:beginning and leave it at a cliffhanger. She was the one who was
Speaker:kidnapped. And then let's give a taste of the
Speaker:original voice of Siri and a taste of each one, and
Speaker:then come back a couple of times during the filming
Speaker:to round out their stories and end with a
Speaker:message of sorts. Each one of them had some type of a
Speaker:message to send. So it was trial and
Speaker:error and learning as you go. So I see this
Speaker:as my senior project. That's what I call. Yeah.
Speaker:And curious. You know, when I started hey,
Speaker:boomer, I started it as Facebook Live,
Speaker:but it took me about a year before I was
Speaker:comfortable with saying, oh, yeah, I'm a podcast host,
Speaker:and I'm wondering if it took you some time to embrace that.
Speaker:Oh, yeah, I'm a filmmaker. I'm a director. I'm a
Speaker:producer. Yeah, it is a little funny
Speaker:to not have a film out yet and say, I'm
Speaker:a filmmaker. And so I did shy away from that, and
Speaker:there were a couple of people that said, well, you're not a filmmaker yet. You
Speaker:didn't make a film. I mean, people can be very
Speaker:direct. So I was always careful with that, you know what I mean?
Speaker:And then I realized, Wait a minute, I'm in the midst of
Speaker:making this very complicated film, and I had a lot of
Speaker:filmmakers and producers say to me, you are a
Speaker:filmmaker. You are one. You are making a film whether it
Speaker:does well or not. You're a filmmaker. This is what you're doing.
Speaker:So say it out loud and shout it from the rooftops and be
Speaker:proud as to what you're doing. So I did get more
Speaker:comfortable with it. Yeah. It's
Speaker:like when we graduate from college and we have our degree, okay, well, I'm a
Speaker:computer scientist or I'm a writer accountant or whatever.
Speaker:Right now we're making something up that.
Speaker:We'Ve never done before. Exactly.
Speaker:So it takes a while
Speaker:for that shift to collide with
Speaker:your confidence. And people shy away from
Speaker:their confidence a lot of times because they're afraid that they're going to
Speaker:sound like they're boasting or I don't
Speaker:know. And sometimes you do draw the wrong
Speaker:attention and some of the attention that you may receive
Speaker:could be seen as negative. But
Speaker:you have to let that go and you have to feel really good about whatever
Speaker:it is that you're doing. Whether you're playing a trombone or
Speaker:you're writing a book or you're making a film or you're doing a
Speaker:podcast, you are doing that. You're in
Speaker:the midst of it. Yeah, you
Speaker:need to be confident about it. You do. You need to be confident
Speaker:about it. I
Speaker:have a quote here. There were a couple of women in the movie that said
Speaker:age has given them permission to follow a dream
Speaker:or to say no to things that they don't want to do.
Speaker:So I'm wondering for you, did
Speaker:age give you this permission to
Speaker:other people might have said, well, you're not a filmmaker, but did age give you
Speaker:permission to finally say, yeah, that's what I am? Yes,
Speaker:there is this certain I mean, I always had confidence
Speaker:in myself in what I was doing at the moment.
Speaker:So whether I was in the nonprofit world or the for
Speaker:profit world, my work, when I felt good
Speaker:about it and I had learned what I needed to learn and I was always
Speaker:learning, I had a certain confidence about
Speaker:that. So too me. As you get older and you have all these
Speaker:experiences in life. Not just work experiences, life
Speaker:experiences. Marriages, divorces, children,
Speaker:grandchildren, travel, speaking with
Speaker:people, hearing stories, telling stories to people.
Speaker:There is this certain level of confidence where you feel
Speaker:good enough about yourself to say, hey, this is me.
Speaker:And I am now ready to do the next thing. And
Speaker:if people think that I'm not, well, let them think
Speaker:that because where that would have bothered me
Speaker:when I was younger. A couple of the comments that I received when I
Speaker:started doing this, it really would have bothered me. But I just
Speaker:thought, okay, they're looking at this with a completely different lens
Speaker:than mine and all of my
Speaker:chances and choices and decisions that I'm making are
Speaker:mine. And if I fail, I'll learn from the failure and
Speaker:move forward and do it a different way because that's the way
Speaker:you live life. So there is this
Speaker:confidence that comes with being older. And if
Speaker:there are people out there that think, well, I'm 65 or
Speaker:I'm 70 or whatever and I don't feel that confidence, maybe you
Speaker:need to look a little deeper because it's probably there and
Speaker:there are probably things that you have done in your life that somebody else
Speaker:would say, wow, I never could do that. Exactly.
Speaker:So it's just an age thing where you just and you're right. There
Speaker:was a theme with all of the women in the film saying,
Speaker:I can just say no. If I don't want to do it now, I can
Speaker:do whatever I want. And they all feel very comfortable and
Speaker:confident about that. Yeah, I think that was part of the
Speaker:resilience that came through with a lot of their stories.
Speaker:It was like we've all had
Speaker:challenges, things to overcome. And I love that you said,
Speaker:we've all done things that maybe we didn't look at as so brave
Speaker:or courageous or whatever, but somebody else might have looked
Speaker:at it and said, oh, my gosh, I can't believe you did that,
Speaker:and so giving ourselves credit. And I
Speaker:think the other thing, Melissa, and I'm sure you must have found this,
Speaker:is surrounding yourself with people that support you, that
Speaker:believe in know you have those naysayers,
Speaker:but did you have a tribe of people, or at least a few
Speaker:people that were like, melissa, you got this I know you can do.
Speaker:And I and I have a number of friends know, at times
Speaker:when I would feel anxious about it's not coming together the way I
Speaker:want it to, they would just say, Give it time. You've got
Speaker:whole, you have the view. It's just putting the puzzle
Speaker:together. So not only the young people in the production company who were
Speaker:wonderful, the crews that I worked with, my
Speaker:dearest friends, my husband, who
Speaker:I think was extremely skeptical in the very beginning,
Speaker:he doesn't take willy nilly risks.
Speaker:He's much more stable than I am that way, which
Speaker:makes us probably a great couple. But he became a great
Speaker:cheerleader, and he was a great listener, and
Speaker:he knew that I was going to do this. He saw me
Speaker:pushing through, and my children, my adult children, were
Speaker:like, mom, you can do anything you want. This is
Speaker:awesome. So you had enough of that around you
Speaker:to make the naysayers. And there were only a couple of them, and
Speaker:it wasn't bad. It was just like, you're not a
Speaker:filmmaker. You can't say you're a filmmaker. You don't know how to
Speaker:make a film. Now you do,
Speaker:and you're making a second film, right?
Speaker:Yes. Tell me about this second film.
Speaker:Well, the second film is called Climbing Into Life, and it is the
Speaker:life story of one woman instead of nine. I thought I bit
Speaker:off more than I could chew the first time, so this time I decided
Speaker:to stay a little more focused and do one woman
Speaker:story. And her name is Deirdre Wallonik, and she
Speaker:is the mother of Alex Honnold. And Alex Honoluld, if
Speaker:people are watching this and have seen the documentary Free
Speaker:Solo, that's her son that climbed El
Speaker:Capitan with no ropes and no help,
Speaker:nothing whatsoever, daunting the only one
Speaker:that's ever done it. So she's the
Speaker:mother. And she is a fascinating
Speaker:individual, an intellect, an artist, a
Speaker:musician, a professor, a linguist,
Speaker:a writer. I mean, she has done just about everything,
Speaker:but she was never an athlete. And she
Speaker:decided, as she got a little bit older now, wait
Speaker:a minute. And she has a daughter who's also a super
Speaker:athlete, and she started looking at her kids and saying,
Speaker:what am I missing here? Maybe I should
Speaker:get into their world and understand them better. And
Speaker:the short story is she asked her son Alex to teach
Speaker:her how to climb rock climb. So this started in
Speaker:her late 50s, early 60s, climbing in a gym.
Speaker:And then eventually she became the oldest
Speaker:woman to climb El Capitan in Yosemite, with
Speaker:ropes, of course, but her son led her up.
Speaker:And then on her 70th birthday, she did it with friends.
Speaker:And so I went out there a year ago to film her
Speaker:in Yosemite and at her home. And
Speaker:her story is just remarkable and fascinating.
Speaker:And it's with editors right now. We're going through the editor
Speaker:process and hopefully in
Speaker:late fall, I think. Did you have to climb with her to do
Speaker:the filming? No, we didn't do the El
Speaker:Capitan climb. She's already done those. So what we
Speaker:did was we went with a climbing videographer. I
Speaker:only had to climb up 1000ft to get to the point where she started
Speaker:climbing. You have
Speaker:no idea. We had a guide, my husband and I. He was doing some
Speaker:still photography and I had to
Speaker:sit down like every ten minutes on the way up. It was daunting.
Speaker:So that was their climb in just to get to start climbing El
Speaker:Cap. And it was amazing. So I had a climbing videographer
Speaker:going with her to capture pictures of her climbing.
Speaker:It was amazing. It was an amazing experience.
Speaker:And being in Yosemite is just
Speaker:unbelievable. And we had beautiful weather and it
Speaker:was gorgeous. Yeah, good. So that's the next one. So stay
Speaker:tuned, I hope. Late fall, people climbing into life.
Speaker:Climbing into life. Okay, so
Speaker:I'm curious as to how you get these out. Like, these
Speaker:don't come into the big theaters, right? So how do
Speaker:you get the word out and start to make some of the money back that
Speaker:it costs to make the movie? Well, that's a whole different
Speaker:story. That's the part that's not fun. That reminds me
Speaker:of corporate work. There's a whole legal aspect to everything, and
Speaker:insurance and all of that. Well, when 2nd 60
Speaker:was finished and I did
Speaker:the film festival circuit in 2018,
Speaker:19, and then COVID
Speaker:hit, and when COVID hit, everything stopped.
Speaker:I really couldn't get it out there. So I started
Speaker:talking with distributors about how it would get out onto the
Speaker:different streaming platforms or who would buy it or what would
Speaker:work. And their whole world
Speaker:shrunk down during COVID as well. So finally,
Speaker:by 2021, a distributor got in
Speaker:touch with me and said, I want to help you with this. Let's get it
Speaker:out. They got it on to Gravitas, who's a big
Speaker:distributor, and they put it out onto all the platforms.
Speaker:And as far as getting your money back as an independent filmmaker
Speaker:in today's world, that's like way down the
Speaker:road. So do I have small checks coming in now? Yes,
Speaker:very. But and it is being seen by
Speaker:tens of thousands of people. So that's making me happy. But you share,
Speaker:obviously, the profits with agents and
Speaker:distributors and the actual streaming platform itself,
Speaker:and then you're the last person that gets the next little
Speaker:check. But that goes on for the next 15 years.
Speaker:So hopefully I'll still be kicking at that point.
Speaker:The same thing. I will start talking with distributors
Speaker:before it's finished and see what kind of interest there is
Speaker:for a story like this. So you've had to
Speaker:do everything. You had to figure out how to put together the
Speaker:story, find the crews, be the director now, be the
Speaker:producer. The business end of things, too.
Speaker:Did you have any idea what you were taking on when you started
Speaker:this? Sort of because
Speaker:remember, I have built a division within a
Speaker:huge corporation and worked with other even larger
Speaker:corporations at a very granular level.
Speaker:And I know how hard it is to do that. And I know what
Speaker:it means to build teams of people that know more than you
Speaker:do about certain things. So I kind of had an
Speaker:idea. I knew what I didn't know, but I knew how
Speaker:to find the people that would help me figure that out. So that
Speaker:part wasn't really too bad. I think
Speaker:the biggest eye opener is in the distribution of it.
Speaker:It's very difficult. If it had been two years
Speaker:earlier, I would have had the opportunity to go
Speaker:to an Amazon or a Netflix and say, do you want to buy this film?
Speaker:And that was back when they were saying, sure, here's $250,000, we'll take
Speaker:it. Well, they haven't done that for a couple of years. They don't do that
Speaker:anymore. So it is a daunting task to get it out
Speaker:there. So I feel very fortunate that it
Speaker:is available for everybody to see and that it is being
Speaker:seen by lots of eyes. And I continue
Speaker:over the years and months to get wonderful feedback from
Speaker:people all over. People are seeing it on
Speaker:airplanes now. That's always fun.
Speaker:Well, it was easy to find. I went on YouTube, but
Speaker:you told me it's on Amazon Prime and Apple Plus and
Speaker:Voodoo. I mean, all these different places. And you can rent it or buy
Speaker:it. I think it was 399 or something to rent it.
Speaker:So everybody go and watch this beyond 60
Speaker:movie and at least a little bit more money might trickle
Speaker:in. Because it was very inspiring,
Speaker:though, watching these women. I wonder,
Speaker:when you did your interviews with them,
Speaker:I love that you actually here. I'm going to change this question a little bit.
Speaker:You brought in the young women at the end to talk to them
Speaker:about how they saw themselves when they got older.
Speaker:Where did you get that idea?
Speaker:We actually did them bookends at the beginning and the very end.
Speaker:And with the production company, I was like,
Speaker:okay, there was something missing and I didn't
Speaker:know what it was. And I just thought it would be nice to have
Speaker:something other than just the women's stories. And
Speaker:my first idea was to take the crew because
Speaker:the crew was very young and it were men and women
Speaker:on the crew and sit down and interview
Speaker:them about how these stories impacted
Speaker:them or did they and how did they feel about aging and did
Speaker:their views of older women change by doing this?
Speaker:The problem with that is crews changed and
Speaker:we're talking an almost three year period and to try to
Speaker:coordinate getting everybody sitting down in one
Speaker:place at one time, it was almost impossible. So
Speaker:one of the production guys that I was working with, Jim, he said, well,
Speaker:why don't we just grab some young women, same idea
Speaker:and see what they think? So then we started getting in touch with people in
Speaker:Philadelphia and all of the young women that you see are
Speaker:artists, know, just
Speaker:creatives from the Philadelphia area. And
Speaker:we got in touch with someone who set us up with these women
Speaker:and we interviewed them to see how they felt about aging.
Speaker:And I thought it was a nice juxtaposition
Speaker:for the older women stories. Yeah, it was interesting.
Speaker:So the other question that I was going to ask you is about
Speaker:resiliency and how you
Speaker:see yourself and those women and how resiliency has played
Speaker:a part in your lives.
Speaker:Some people will say it's an overused word, but I
Speaker:have to tell you, for myself and for all these women that I
Speaker:interviewed, it was in the forefront all the time.
Speaker:And that resilience is gained through
Speaker:having not a cushy life and a simple life,
Speaker:but having a life that has allowed you to
Speaker:experience so many different things and make so many different
Speaker:mistakes. That you have this new
Speaker:muscle that you build that's that resilience muscle
Speaker:that allows you to just keep popping back all
Speaker:the time and getting better at your next step.
Speaker:And I've found that with myself. If we
Speaker:had 12 hours to talk about all the mistakes I've made and all
Speaker:the changes I've been through in my lifetime and the nine women
Speaker:the same thing. And you? I'm sure we
Speaker:go through these difficult times in life, and as
Speaker:we get older, we look back and we realize, wow, we
Speaker:really racked up a lot of experiences.
Speaker:And those experiences and failures and
Speaker:missteps or whatever they might be caused our resilience
Speaker:muscle to just grow, which gives us this
Speaker:power as we get older and this
Speaker:interest and kind of intrigue about what else
Speaker:can we do? And the resilience factor will be there to get
Speaker:us through it. Even if we fail, even if I make a
Speaker:mistake. And I remember when I was younger, when I would
Speaker:make a mistake at work, I was crushed. And then
Speaker:I look back and I'm like, oh, it was just a silly mistake. And I
Speaker:learned from it and I moved forward. But why was I
Speaker:crushed? Why isn't failure okay? Failure
Speaker:is a part of growing and adding more to your
Speaker:bucket. Yeah, and I think you're right.
Speaker:That resilient muscle builds up because I think when we were young,
Speaker:we all wanted to be recognized as
Speaker:smart or capable or whatever, and we were afraid to make a mistake.
Speaker:And now it's like, exactly, okay, so I screwed up, so let's move
Speaker:on. I
Speaker:always end up on my feet just like a cat, right,
Speaker:exactly. And that's the beauty of getting
Speaker:older. If you're lucky enough to have your
Speaker:health and your mental acuity and
Speaker:all of that is intact. It doesn't matter how
Speaker:old you are, because the older you get, the more
Speaker:experiences you've had and the more opportunities then there are
Speaker:to learn some new that's. That makes
Speaker:me really happy when I talk to other women and men
Speaker:that talk about figuring that out in their
Speaker:lifetime and trying now to cram in as many new things
Speaker:as possible. Yeah. So, Melissa, if
Speaker:somebody was to come up to you today and say, help,
Speaker:I'm trying to figure out what my second act should be, could
Speaker:be, I'm afraid, what kind of advice do you think you would give
Speaker:them? Well, first I would ask them to make
Speaker:a list of all the things that they're interested in
Speaker:or have been interested in their lifetime, and then why didn't they
Speaker:try any of those? What is the reasoning behind
Speaker:why that list is there and it hasn't been acted
Speaker:upon? And what is holding you back? And normally,
Speaker:usually it's fear, the fear of the
Speaker:unknown and the fear of
Speaker:failure. And I think that's where there's so many
Speaker:people you can talk to about that. There are podcasts that
Speaker:talk about that. There are social workers,
Speaker:therapists that talk to you about fear because getting through
Speaker:that fear is amazing. It's just
Speaker:amazing when you get through to the other side and you realize, okay,
Speaker:that was really uncomfortable for about 20 minutes, and
Speaker:then, okay, but I get it now, I can see the picture and
Speaker:I'm going to move in that way. But people
Speaker:seem to put themselves in boxes as well.
Speaker:If you grew up and you were a scientist or you were a teacher or
Speaker:you were a nurse or whatever it was that
Speaker:identified you as an individual, that's not
Speaker:all there is. There's this whole complex
Speaker:person besides that job. So find
Speaker:out what it is that you're interested in and then start
Speaker:asking people for their assistance and guidance
Speaker:and just discussion about, well, where would you go if you wanted to
Speaker:do this? And the more people you ask, the more suggestions
Speaker:they will have. A
Speaker:caveat to that, I think. Make sure you ask the people
Speaker:that are supportive, right? Not people that are going to say you're not
Speaker:a filmmaker, but ask people that are going to be
Speaker:supportive and
Speaker:facing that fear. I mean, yes, it's hard and
Speaker:uncomfortable and it is so worth it when you come out
Speaker:the other side. It really is
Speaker:is. And again, a lot of people look at me and they go, oh, she
Speaker:probably knew about filmmaking, she probably went to school for it.
Speaker:No, I really didn't know quite what I
Speaker:was doing. And were there moments that I felt sick to my stomach?
Speaker:Yes. Because I thought, am I doing this
Speaker:right? Is it going to be right? But then it was like, stop asking and
Speaker:just do until you figure it out
Speaker:and you do come out the other side. And
Speaker:as long as you have that support of people
Speaker:who care about you and want to see you succeed,
Speaker:that pumps you up to no end and absolutely, you can really do
Speaker:whatever you want. Yeah. So let me tell
Speaker:people where to find you. So you can go to Melissa's
Speaker:website, beyond 60. Com. I'm sure there'll be another website
Speaker:for climbing into life, but for right now
Speaker:you can find beyond 60 dot where you can see where the
Speaker:movie can be seen. You
Speaker:can email Melissa at
Speaker:melissajdavy?
Speaker:Davey@verizon.net,
Speaker:she is on Facebook. You can find
Speaker:the Facebook page beyond 60 documentary
Speaker:and she is on Instagram, which is the at
Speaker:beyond 60 project. So lots of ways to connect with
Speaker:her and follow what she's doing and be inspired by her
Speaker:and add your inspiration to know all of us
Speaker:who are in these putting ourselves out there
Speaker:fields know, trying to be creative and helpful.
Speaker:Certainly do appreciate the feedback and the
Speaker:inspiration we get from people that are following. So, yes, we do.
Speaker:Thank you for that, Melissa. Thank you. And
Speaker:if you like some of what you are hearing,
Speaker:gail says thank you. Melissa. If you like some of
Speaker:what you're hearing on hey Boomer, I'd love to hear from you. You can
Speaker:email me at wendy at Heyboomer biz.
Speaker:Or you can leave a review on Apple podcast or
Speaker:Spotify podcast. One of the recent reviews I
Speaker:got said, quote, a great listen. Wendy's podcast
Speaker:is full of information to help navigate midlife and beyond.
Speaker:She's shining a light on Boomers and the issues that arise. So
Speaker:that felt good. That was nice to hear.
Speaker:And next week, we're going to focus on
Speaker:brain health. My guest will be Dr. Crystal
Speaker:Color. She's the founder of the Virtual Brain Health Center.
Speaker:She's a doctor of behavioral health and holistic
Speaker:brain health expert. She brings nearly two decades
Speaker:of expertise in working with individuals, families,
Speaker:providers and advocacy organizations
Speaker:specializing in brain related diagnoses.
Speaker:And she was referred to me by several friends of Hay Boomer.
Speaker:So I'm very curious to find out what Dr.
Speaker:Collar has to say about keeping our brains healthy for as
Speaker:long as possible. And you know that I always
Speaker:like to leave you with the belief that we can all live with
Speaker:relevance, live with courage, and live with
Speaker:curiosity. And as melissa and I both believe,
Speaker:you are never too old to set another goal or
Speaker:dream a new dream. Thank you so much, melissa.
Speaker:Thank you. I will talk to you,