Intentional Aging: Finding Joy, Vitality & Purpose After 60

Hello and welcome to Boomer Banter, where we have real talk about aging. Well, my name is Wendy Greene and I am your host, and I am so glad that you're here today.

So those of you who get my newsletter noticed that a couple of weeks ago I mentioned that I had been to three doctor's appointments in one week. That's not common for me. It hasn't happened before. And honestly, it kind of gave me a pause and made me realize, well, I guess I really am 71. And.

And you know, to be honest with you, these days I do catch myself looking at some of the young girls walking around on the street and looking all perky and gay and happy. And I think, gosh, I used to be that person. But things change, right? And the question is, when did all of that change?

But maybe that's not really the right question, because I know it's just changed slowly over time. It wasn't just like, boom. And it changed.

Our bodies shift like anything that's been used with love, like a well loved and cared for car, a garden that's been around a long time that maybe needs a little freshening up, or like the Velveteen Rabbit that was so well loved and lost a little stuffing. Things wear down, but with care and attention, they can still flourish. And here's the important part. We all have agency over our wellness.

We no longer claim to be young, but we can still aim for youthful attitudes and healthy bodies. Wherever you are on your wellness journey, recognize that you have legs that support you most of the time. You have arms that dress and feed you.

You have a mind that's full of wisdom and curiosity. So the real question is, how do we care for ourselves now with intention and kindness?

So today on Boomer Banter, we're going to be talking about whole person wellness, body, mind and spirit from where we are now, in our 60s, 70s, 80s, and with a deep respect for how far we've come and some excitement for what's still possible. Because we're not just aging, we're evolving into something new. And that's something to be celebrated.

And if this episode sparks something in you, if it gets you thinking about your own wellness journey, if it gets you feeling a little bit motivated, a little bit better, I'd be so grateful if you'd share it with your friends. Leave a quick review on the podcast app or hit that follow button. It helps more than you know.

But before I get into this, let me put just some caveats around my message. Today, if you're in your 60s, 70s and 80s. This talk is for you.

I have learned since I first started this podcast five years ago that our perspective of age changes as we age. What I thought to be true about aging in my 50s is different from what I see is true in my 70s, and it will be different when I am in my 90s.

So listen from where you are and take away what has meaning for you. So I want to start by giving you some insight into my journey of health and wellness.

I grew up with a a father who was an athlete all through high school, college. He played baseball, basketball, football, he told us, even boxed. Boxed.

When I was growing up, he continued to play baseball and later on he took up tennis. My dad used to wake us up in the morning, really, truly like whistling Reveley.

And then we, we had to get up and do some morning exercises, maybe swim some laps before we could go to school. I sure did not love that. But you know, maybe in hindsight it was good for us. But to his dismay, none of us were truly athletes.

We each had some ability, but never enough to really be competitive. My mother, although not a cook, was an advocate of healthy eating.

I'm not sure when she became a vegetarian, but she always made us aware of nutrition. And that is something I have continued to think about as I prepare meals for myself. And yes, I do cook for myself.

I know that many of my friends are not interested in cooking anymore, but for me, it's wonderful to cook once or twice a week and then have some delicious healthy leftovers ready for another day. And I like good food. I don't particularly like restaurant prices, so it just makes sense.

But let me ask you a question I often ask my coaching clients. When you hear the word health or wellness, what comes to mind?

Most of my clients will pause for a minute and then they'll say something like, well, health means not being sick or not being injured. Or I feel healthy when I'm not so tired all the time, but right now I feel tired all the time. That's what they say.

Or yeah, I sure do feel better when I'm living pain free or when I'm not feeling down. And those are all valid answers of what health or wellness means to them. But you know what they have in common?

They're all about the absence of something. What does health or wellness mean to you? Does it mean not sick, not in pain, not tired?

Is that really the bar we're setting for ourselves, just not suffering? I am sure you have all had times in your lives when it felt like everything was Falling apart. Maybe you lost a job, worried about money.

A relationship ended, a loved one passed. We've all been there. I certainly have. And I have allowed myself to be overcome with sadness.

There was not a good time in my life, and it got to me. I had nothing. Nothing came to mind. My heart felt closed. I couldn't remember what brought me joy. I couldn't remember what I like to do.

I just felt empty. At the time, I was living in Northern Virginia, away from all my family. And on the outside, I probably looked okay.

I mean, I showed up, I spoke to people, I did my work. But inside, I was so depressed, depleted. Have you ever experienced a time like that? I. I bet you have.

And I now realize that was one of the most unwell times in my life. You see, health and wellness are not just the numbers on a chart.

They're not just your blood pressure or your cholesterol or the number of steps you take per day. Health and wellness are about energy, hope, connection, and clarity. They're about waking up and knowing who you are and what matters to you.

Sure, true health does include physical strength, but it also includes mental clarity, emotional resilience, and a sense of purpose. And I want to pause on that last one for a second, because it's easy to overlook that word purpose. Purpose does not have to be a grand mission.

It does not mean some major legacy project.

I had to give myself permission to be lost. And then slowly, I started to notice the things that brought me back to life. Things I have forgotten. I loved. Like music. I love music.

Meaningful conversation, time with my family, time with people who truly saw me, and eventually, coaching and podcasting. Wellness is not a quick fix. It does take time and intention.

And it is worth it as you realize you are returning to your true self, your whole self, and the life you want to live. So if you're listening to this and feeling a little lost or wondering where your spark went, I get it. I've been there. And you are not alone.

You don't have to have all the answers right now, but I Invite you to ask yourself this. What does wellness mean to me now, now, at this stage of life?

Not what it used to mean, not what someone else tells you it should be, but what it means to you in this body, in this season, in this. In this chapter, because your definition matters, and it's allowed to evolve as you evolve. So let's shift gears for a moment and talk about energy.

Luckily, I still feel in this place, in this body right now, I still feel like I have enough energy to do the things I want to do. I also know that by the end of the day, I am often exhausted.

I talk to a lot of people who worry that they don't have the same energy they had when they were in their 30s and 40s. But sometimes I wonder, are we remembering it clearly?

Because in my 30s and 40s, I was raising kids, working full time, taking care of the house, paying bills. I was in constant motion. And by the time I laid my head down at night, I was out cold.

Maybe we pushed ourselves harder then because life demanded it, but we still got tired. We just didn't have time to notice how tired we were. But these days, we do notice. We do have the time to notice.

And tired feels a little bit different. It's not just physical. It's mental tiredness and emotional tiredness, too. And that brings me to what I call the energy equation. You like that?

The energy equation. So there are things that drain us, they're on one side of the equation. And the things that restore us, they're on the other side of the equation.

And the balance between the two is what's really important. So let's first identify some of the big energy drainers, like saying yes out of guilt. That's a big one. How many of you do that?

Like you don't really want to do something, but you say yes because you don't want to hurt someone's feelings or you're afraid that somebody will be upset with you if you don't say yes. But you know what you're really doing? You're hurting yourself. And they're. And you. And you feel it, right? You feel it in your gut.

You're like, oh, shoot, why did I say yes to that? I don't want to do that. And you know that you just gave away some of the time or the energy that you really didn't feel like you had. So guilt.

That's a big one. A big energy drain. Neglecting the things that bring you joy. There's another one.

If you're ruled by all the things you think you should do, your to do list, the laundry, the errands, the phone calls you're supposed to make, the, you know, grocery shopping time with friends, all of those things. And you don't give yourself time for what brings you joy.

Then you're not taking the time to fuel your own spirit, your heart, what really kind of lights you up. So think about that. What are you neglecting that brings you joy because you're feeling so obligated or committed to all these other things?

Caregiving is another big one that many of us in this age are dealing with, and it is exhausting. Hopefully, caregiving is done from love, but it's exhausting just the same.

And if there's guilt mixed in because you feel like you should, but you don't really want to, then it can be doubly draining. I had a client that was dealing with that issue, and a big one. Worry. Worry might be the most efficient energy thief of all. We worry about everything.

We worry about our kids. We worry about that new ache in our knee. We worry about our health. We worry about the next doctor's appointment.

We worry about who's going to clean our house. We worry about, you know, how come our friend hasn't called us back. I mean, we can worry about everything all the time, all day long.

But you know what? It doesn't change anything. All it does is clog your thinking and steal your peace. And boy, you don't want that. So take a minute.

Ask yourself gently, which of these are showing up in your life, draining your energy, guilt, neglecting, joy, caregiving, worry. Because if you're drained all the time, it may not only be about aging. It might be that your energy equation is out of whack.

It's too heavily weighted on the things that suck the energy out of you. So let's look at the other side of the equation, the part that restores us. I call these my energy restorers. That makes sense.

So some of these might be things like movement that you enjoy. For me, I love taking a walk in the morning. I love that the sun comes up earlier now so I can get out early and take a walk.

I also love dance, always have. I mean, I remember when I was a young mom and was feeling overwhelmed with everything. I'm sure a lot of you can relate to that.

I could put on Jimmy Buffett music and start dancing around the room, and it was almost like magic. I instantly felt better. You can't feel sad or hopeless when you're dancing. And this realization has Served me well over the years.

You never know when you might find me bopping in the aisles of the grocery store to that canned music that they play. I can't help it. I just like to dance. So another energy restorer. Quiet moments, reflection. Where do you get these? Do you get them?

Maybe in church when you journal sitting by a mountain stream, listening to the morning, morning bird songs. Moments of quiet can be very restoring. And quiet doesn't have to mean lonely. It can be sacred. It can be very restorative.

So see how you can find the beautiful moments of quiet and then notice if your energy maybe has picked up a little bit. Connection is an important one. We hear all the time about the importance of social connection. But here's the thing.

You want to find the kind of social connection that feels mutual, warm, and where you feel seen. The kind that is fun, that's uplifting and positive. You know those people who make you feel energized just by being around them?

That's the kind of connection that fills your cup. Spend more time with those people. And another energy restorer. Look for the things that light you up. For some, that may be doing creative projects.

For others, it may be getting out into nature. For others, it's being involved in community projects. Whatever lights you up will make you feel alive and energized. You know what it is for you.

You might have forgotten, you might need to go looking, but it's there. And that doesn't mean you're never going to be tired. Of course you'll be tired.

You mean you'll have a full busy day, but it'll be a day that feels energized rather than a day that feels drained. So our energy doesn't just come from rest, it comes from feeling alive. So take a look at your energy equation. What's being drained?

What's being restored? You don't have to overhaul your whole life.

But maybe today you pick just one thing to say no to and one thing to say yes to that makes you feel even a little bit more like you with just a little bit more energy. So now I've asked you to do that. So now my next question is, why is it that we know it would help us feel better and we still don't do it?

I mean, that's true for all of us, right? There are times that we just are not going to do it. We know that taking a walk might lift our mood.

We know that saying no to things that drain us could give us more space. We know that reaching out to A friend might ease that sense of isolation. But we don't always do those things, do we?

And you know, what doesn't make you lazy doesn't mean you're broken. It doesn't even mean that you're unmotivated. It means that you're human.

There's a word I come back to a lot in my coaching work, and that is resistance. Resistance shows up in all kinds of sneaky ways, and it doesn't usually scream at you. We resist things that we feel like we should do.

And so sometimes we may say, what's the point? I'm too old for that now. I. I'll do it tomorrow. I don't have the energy. Well, it's, you know, I'm not going to change now.

It's just the way things are. I've heard these refrains from many people, and I have to admit I've said some of them myself.

And yes, there are real limits that come with aging, that come with grief, with caregiving or chronic illness. But even within those limits, we often have more choices than we realize. What stops us isn't always physical. It's also emotional.

It could be those fears, like fear of failure if we try something new, or fear of rejection if we reach out. Fear of change. Change is hard. Fear of looking silly or out of place. Or sometimes fear of facing feelings we've worked hard to bury.

Let me tell you about a woman I worked with recently. She's in her late 60s. She'd been retired for a few years. And she told me, I just feel flat, like I'm drifting.

And we started talking about what used to light her up. And she told me that she used to swim every week for years. I asked her why she stopped. Oh, she didn't want to tell me.

But finally she looked at me and she said, well, honestly, I don't want to put on a bathing suit anymore. That moment, that's resistance. That comes from fear. It wasn't about not having the time or ability. It was about feeling vulnerable.

The fear of being judged. And I think we've all had our version of that. We know that something would probably make us feel better, but we talk ourselves out of it from fear.

So here's my invitation to you. Instead of beating yourself up for being stuck, get curious about it. Ask yourself, what am I avoiding? What story am I telling myself?

And importantly, what would a different story sound like for my client? She was afraid of feeling judged by others when she put on her bathing suit and went for a swim.

So she told herself she no longer had that youthful, toned body that she was too old and others might laugh at her. So she stopped doing something that brought her joy, the feeling of freedom that moving through water can bring.

That's what gave her the joy, the movement, and the freedom of moving through the water. And in order to get that freedom back, we worked on changing her story.

She said, well, swimming was a gift that she could give herself what other people might think. That was about them, not about her. She decided to take back her joy of swimming and get back in the pool.

And she treated herself to a new swimsuit to get started. Did it happen overnight, just like that? No.

It took some time for that new story to kind of integrate into her being, but she brought back that sense of joy that she got from swimming. So you don't need to overhaul your life in one go. You just have to identify what makes you feel good and take a baby step in that direction.

And you might have to change the story you're telling yourself. Most of us don't get unstuck all at once. We get unstuck. One brave choice, one brave story, one brave belief at a time.

And sometimes the bravest choice is just saying, I'm ready for something to shift. And that's where the real wellness journey begins. Not with the perfect plan, but with awareness, compassion, and the smallest spark of willingness.

So if you're listening right now and thinking, well, that's me, I feel stuck. Good, that means you're awake to it. And that's the first step.

You don't have to fix it all today, but you can begin to imagine a different kind of tomorrow. So if you've stayed with me this far. Thank you.

I know today's conversation may have stirred some feelings, maybe a little discomfort, but maybe a little hope. Or maybe both. And here's what I want you to know. There is no expiration date on feeling good in your body.

And there is no age limit on reconnecting with what makes you feel alive. At least not while you are in your 60s, 70s, and 80s.

And even if things have been hard, even if you felt stuck or invisible or exhausted, you can still turn the page. Wellness doesn't have to look like a gym membership or a juice cleanse.

It can look like finally saying no to something that drains you or saying yes to something that lights you up. Even if it's been years since you've done it. Or maybe it looks like starting small, getting curious, being kind to yourself.

Again, these are the types of conversations I've been having inside my Next Chapter Blueprint program.

It's a space for people just like you, people who are ready to feel re energized, to reconnect with meaning, to design a life that feels fulfilling from the inside out. And I'll be opening up a few three or four coaching slots again soon, and I'll be sharing more details with you in the coming weeks.

But for now, just let this land you are not broken, you are becoming. We are not just aging, we're evolving. And that is something to be celebrated.

If this episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear what part stood out. Send me a message, share this with a friend, or just sit with it for a while.

And if you want to become one of the first to know about when the coaching program will be starting, get onto my email list, go to hey Boomer Biz and click on Age well with us and you will start getting the email right away. But before we wrap up, I want to do one final shout out for the podcast Reinvention Rebels.

Next week I'll introduce you to another podcast from my collaboration group and I hope you took the time to check out Reinvention Rebels and listen to some of the inspiring stories that ignite could ignite your courage, strengthen your self, permission, muscle and remind you that you are limitless. You can find Reinvention Rebels wherever you listen to podcasts.

So before you go, April has been a full month of conversations about health and wellness. And if you missed any of them, you can find all of them on Apple Podcast, Spotify or the YouTube channel Boomer Banter. Real talk about aging well.

So search for that. You'll find it. Look for those and share them and catch up on what you may have missed.

But for May, we're shifting our talk to Financial Wellness and I I really think I have some good topics lined up for you. Next week.

On Boomer Banter, we're diving into something every grandparent should hear how you can not only help fund your grandchild's education, but also give them a serious head start on their financial future. My guest financial advisor John Cooper, shares exciting new options for things like rolling over leftover college savings into a Roth ira.

That sounds cool. Teaching kids about investing and creating lasting family legacies.

It's inspiring, practical, and full of ideas you may not have heard yet, so be sure to tune in. And until next time, take gentle care your body, your mind, and your spirit. Thank you so much for joining me.