Being sick is a buzz kill!
At first, I thought it was allergies. When allergy medicine was not improving things, I took the first to two at-home Covid tests. Both came back negative. Finally on Sunday, when the coughing would not stop and I had developed pinkeye, I went to urgent care. Diagnosed with acute bronchitis and acute conjunctivitis. This has been exhausting, both physically and emotionally.
I was raised with the mantra
“I AM HEALTHY, I AM STRONG, NOTHING ABOUT ME WILL GO WRONG.”
Seriously, if I didn’t feel well, I was supposed to “snap out of it,” “get over it,” and repeat that mantra. Once, when my mother was away, my dad decided to take all three of us kids to the county fair. I had a stomachache and did not feel much like riding the rides. “Snap out of it,” he said. “You will be alright.” I tried. My mother got home the next day, took my temperature and took me to the doctor. They rushed me to the hospital for an appendectomy. I guess I could not have “snapped out” of that.
I still believe(d) that sickness is a sign of weakness. When this current episode started coming on last week, I was determined to beat it. I meditated and visualized my antibodies fighting with the germs and winning. I took hot baths and drank hot tea. I took extra vitamins. I repeated my mantra. And in spite of everything, I got sicker. Everyday, coughing more, less and less of a voice. It was draining.
Finally, I had to give in. I would get up in the morning, take a shower and be ready for a nap. UGH. This was not like me. But at that moment, it was all I could do.
I am looking forward to being able to breathe once more, cough less and find my voice again.
So what have I learned from my walk-about with bronchitis?
- Illness is not a sign of weakness; it is an illness. Listen to my body and get the rest I need, rather than fighting it.
- So many people care. I had many offers of help and wishes for recovery. Being such an independent woman that was hard for me to accept, and it was nice to take in.
- When I went down the rabbit hole of despair and felt like I would never stop coughing, no matter what I did, I called a friend. In my very raspy voice, I spoke my misery and he very kindly listened and encouraged me that I would get better.
- I realized that my belief that illness was a sign of weakness not only hurts me, but it also hurts others. I apologized to my boyfriend for being so impatient with him the last time he did not feel well.
I am hoping to resume my real walkabouts next week. Stay tuned.
We tend to take our health for granted, until illness knocks on our door. Last year my wife was diagnosed and successfully treated for breast cancer. It was a year of doctor appointments, surgeries, and recovery. She’s doing well now, but the journey taught us to have deeper gratitude for our health, one another, and the simplest pleasures in life. Hope you’re feeling better, Wendy!
Thank God your wife is doing better. We do tend to take our health for granted. I will always be grateful to you, John.
I hope you are feeling better now with medicine and self-care. I also think, and only came to think this way as I got older that getting sick physically is telling us that we need to focus on our needs and tend to them since we tend to focus on other’s needs so mych so at the expense of our own. So,, perhaps pacing oneself is important, and taking time to self-nurture and rest is just as important. The flight attendants teach put the mask on first before helping others in an emergency. That applies to so much more. Stay well.You are important.
I’m glad you’re getting better, but way to turn it into a learning experience.
Alleluia, Wendy! We are both on the upswing!