Stories - - Page 4

Long-Ago Friends – My Walkabout with Susan

I had not seen Susan in person in over 35 years. We had worked together at Digital Equipment Corporation in Alpharetta, GA before it began downsizing and was eventually sold. At the time, we both had two young children, one boy and one girl each. Susan was married, I was in a relationship, so we did not spend much time together out of work. But we were friends. We connected as mothers; we connected as women. We were working in the support center, and it was a great working environment, and Susan and I were more interested in exploring the depths of thought and meaning, then whether someone’s printer really worked. Not really … I mean we were good at our jobs.

When we had a chance to talk, between calls or over lunch, we talked about relationships and feelings and our kids, not about computer programs and hardware.

For our reunion and walkabout, we had arranged to meet at her son’s house, the one we called Little Eddie. Little Eddie is now the daddy of three little boys! He said he remembered being at the office with his mom sometimes and meeting me. Her husband, also Eddie, was there too. What a treat to see both Eddies and the little ones.

Her son pointed us toward the Lullwater Preserve on the Emory University Campus for our walk.

We had occasionally stayed in touch over the years, but not on any regular basis. I left the Atlanta area in 1996 and moved to Maryland. We connected on Facebook.

What do you talk about after 35 years? Our kids, and now grandkids, feelings, relationships and aging. Our kids all seem to be doing well. She has young grandchildren. Mine are all tweens or teens now. Susan is still married. Eddie retired early for health reasons. Susan is contemplating retirement, with some hope and some trepidation. The trepidation is financial. Like many of us, they have worked and saved and realized that they probably have not saved enough to last a lifetime. And like many of us, there is a desire to pursue something meaningful while we still have time, and we still feel well. But giving up the security of a regular income is scary. Susan is now in real estate, has been for the past 25 years. Obviously over the past several years this has been a wonderful industry to be in and she is good at it. She talked about working with a builder and hoping to close out her career with him, but what’s next?

Her husband’s health is not good and many of the things that Susan might want to do, he would not be able to participate in. She has some feelings of guilt about leaving him alone too often while she tries to pursue new interests.

She has suggested many times ways that he walk more or eat differently. She also knows that she is not in his body and she has to trust that he is doing the best he can for himself. As she said “you can’t make a person change or do something he doesn’t want to do.”

But it does not have to hold her back from what she wants to do. Susan has become stronger over the years, and is more willing to speak up for what she wants, and fortunately Eddie does not ask her not to do something.

We both talked about the state of the world and our concerns. And how it might impact our grandchildren’s lives. It got her thinking about what she might do to get involved and feel like she is making a difference. Right now, Susan is in the phase of “endings,” leaving a career that has been good for her and the reputation she has built. She is also entering the “neutral zone,” the phase where you don’t know what is next, where you need some quiet time without a plan, a time to simply reflect on yourself. It is generally in the neutral zone where new ideas will come to you that you might want to test out, without fully committing until something feels right.

We ended our walk with a stop at a local coffee shop to cool off. If I am honest with you, we didn’t want our time together to end, and we promised we would stay in touch. I am happy to say that we have already spoken again this week and hopefully I will get Susan to visit me in Greenville sometime.

There is an old Girl Scout song that feels appropriate to end this story with.

“Make new friends, but keep the old

One is silver and the other’s gold.”

Literacy, librarians and labels

Shhh! That is the sound of the librarian when you are caught talking. Before my walkabout with Prudence, that was my stereotype of librarians. The label I gave librarians was quiet, demure people who loved books. It is true that Prudence loves books. It is also true that she speaks quietly. But she is passionate about literacy and learning and being responsive to customers. The bias I had that all librarians are demure was about to be changed. Let me take you on our walkabout from the new Unity Park in Greenville, SC to Falls Park (also in Greenville) and back.

History of Greenville, SC Parks

In 1907, Harlan Kelsey was commissioned by the City of Greenville to recommend improvements and projects that would beautify the city. He came up with a report that identified a series of potential parks along the Reedy River. The first park, Cleveland Park was completed 20 years later. Falls Park on the Reedy was built 100 years after Mr. Kelsey’s report. The third park, originally called Mayberry Park, was first commissioned as a segregated park for the children that could not play on the other ball fields in Greenville.

In 2002, The Reedy River Master Plan called for the construction of a new park in the area of Mayberry Park along the area that was to become the Swamp Rabbit Trail. The Swamp Rabbit Trail opened in 2010, as a rails to trails project. After extensive restoration of the banks of the Reedy River the new park, Unity Park was opened in 2022 on part of the same land as the original Mayberry Park.

What I learned about librarians

Prudence and Lucy, her Cavalier King Charles pup, picked me up around 10:00. I had met Prudence a couple of times, but we never really had a chance to talk and get to know each other, so I was looking forward to our walk.

Prudence retired as the Executive Director of the Library in Greenwood, SC about 2 years ago. My label of the “librarian” was about to be upended as I got to know Prudence.

She began her career in Athens, GA as a children’s librarian. The Director there tasked her with getting children’s classics for her branch. As she got to know the children, she learned that what they wanted to read were Nancy Drew books, Hardy Boys books and Amelia Bedelia books. Prudence’s desire was to have children reading, so she ordered multiple copies of these books. When her director found out about these purchases, she was not happy and “wrote her up” for insubordination. As a young librarian, Prudence was upset about being written up. In fact, she said this was the only time she actually cried at work. Her co-workers staged an “intervention” to let Prudence know that they supported what she had done and offered her encouragement. Thus began her career as a librarian who spoke her mind and provided learning opportunities to the community.

Eventually, Prudence was recruited to be the Director of the Greenwood County, SC Library, where she worked for 23 years before her retirement as Executive Director. Part of her work there was the building of a new library. She had to work with the county council and raise funds for the new building. It opened in 2010.

As the Executive Director of the Greenwood County Library, she was in charge of the programming. She brought in speakers, experiential activities, and movies, all designed to grow attendance at the library and to provide educational activities for the community. Prudence was able to get grants to provide additional educational materials for the library. One time she got a grant to present an exhibit about the Muslim religion and culture. This exhibit was met with some protest and resistance in Greenwood. She held firm in presenting the materials and many people did come to visit and learn.

She also told me about a “wild” library convention she once attended. This story will really challenge your idea of the quiet, demure librarian. At the end of the first day, many of the librarians went out to dinner and clubs. One group got pretty rowdy and was asked to leave a particular club! The next night, Prudence and a few other librarians happened upon the same club. The owner stopped them at the door. “Are you librarians?” he asked. When they told him they were, he did not want to let them in. They assured him they were a different group and would not cause any trouble.

Labels are a funny thing, aren’t they? We have an image of professions like librarians or engineers or scientists or performers. But the people in these professions are just people, with a particular interest. That does not mean they all have the same demeanor or beliefs. Labels limit what we see.

Prudence loves to travel. She has taken part in a photo safari in Kenya, and she is now on a trip to Italy, Austria and Switzerland. She spent time caring for both of her parents.

Literacy passion

Literacy is Prudence’s passion in retirement. She is now working with adults working to get their GED’s through the Greenville Literacy Association. She is finding her sense of community in Greenville through the Rotary Club she joined and the church she joined.

Thanks to Prudence and Lucy for good conversation and a nice walkabout.

What I learned in culinary camp

I didn’t go to culinary camp. My 15-year-old grandson did, and I got to enjoy the results.

Being a grandmother is one of the greatest joys of my life and it can be challenging. Like parenting except you are not their parent and you don’t see them regularly, so you get to know them anew with each visit.

When the grandchildren were little it was easy. They were giggly and playful, creative and loving. All I had to do was show up and we had fun. Occasionally one of my children (their parents) would correct the way I said something or did something. Ways of parenting continue to evolve. But mostly it was just hours of sitting on the floor playing or walking to the park and playing or exploring new places through the eyes of a child.

As they have transitioned into teens, the interactions are different. This is to be expected. They are discovering who they are, separate from their parents and grandparents. And, as I remember from raising my two children, each one of my four grandchildren is different.

Griffin, the grandson who was with me during this week of culinary camp has gone through several iterations of interest. He has always been creative. As a small child he created “fairy houses” out of sticks and leaves and flowers, in the hopes that the small creatures would come visit. He developed an interest in art for awhile and was quite good. Now he expresses his creativity through playing percussion in the school and city orchestra and through cooking. Mostly baking, but he is adept in the kitchen when creating meals also.

He is also a very self-contained young man. He does not need a lot of conversation. As his grandmother, I wanted conversation, I wanted to know what he was thinking and feeling and dreaming about. We developed an easy flow. I shared with him some memories of his childhood or memories of his mother’s childhood. I shared with him things I was thinking about. I would ask a few questions and got some short answers. And then I would just smile at him and love him. At this stage of his life, this is who he is. He is respectful and easy going. He even humored me by learning to play dominoes with me. I could tell the game bored him, but he played anyway, for short rounds. We learned to respect each other’s needs for quiet time and for interaction.

And culinary school … he did love that. He came out every day with boxes and containers of desserts and confections they made. So much sugar! But on the ride home is when he was the most talkative. He would tell me about the partner he had each day. He would tell me what they made that day. He would tell me how much he enjoyed the state-of-the-art kitchen they were working in.

What I learned in culinary school is that too much sugar hurts my stomach, but I already knew that. I had to taste everything he made, and I am glad that camp is over and most of the goodies have gone home with him.

I learned that I like sharing space with my 15-year-old grandson, even if we don’t talk much. We had dinners together, we played dominoes and we took a couple of walks together. Just being together and accepting that we loved each other was enough. We did not have to engage in deep conversation.

I also reminded myself that I have no idea how I worked and raised two kids on my own and got anything done. I certainly fell behind on some of the Hey, Boomer things I intended to do this week. Which means I also reminded myself about priorities. Family first, essential work next, and everything else can wait.

It was a good week.

Climb to Glassy Mountain – walkabout #10

Annie is the one person I have been friends with for close to 40 years. We have known each other since our children were in the 1^st and 2^nd grades. Even though we have not lived close most of that time, the friendship has endured. Being with her is like coming home. It is so comfortable. We always talk like we see each other every day, only we see each other every few months and rarely talk in between those visits.

On this day we decided to meet at Carl Sandburg’s home in Flat Rock, NC. The home was built in 1838 and Sandburg and his wife Lilian and their youngest daughter, Helga, moved in in 1945. They built 5 miles of trails around the property for Sandburg to wander. The house and property was sold to the park service in 1968, a year after Carl Sandburg died.

“It is necessary now and then for a man (or woman*) to go away by himself and experience loneliness; to sit on a rock in the forest and ask of himself, “Who am I, and where have I been, and where am I going?”
~ Carl Sandburg

We started our hike with a walk around the pond and then out to see the goats that Lilian introduced to the property when she moved there. The billy-goats were feeling friendly this morning. Two came to the fence to be petted, one with a long white beard and the other with big, floppy ears. I think they probably were hoping we would give them some food, but all they got were some pats and head scratches.

The morning air was cool and damp. The leaves and ground were covered with dew, making walking a bit slippery. The birds and frogs were chatting and chirping, welcoming the day.

After our visit to the goats, we took the trail to Glassy Mountain. I had hiked this trail once before with Annie and remembered it being strenuous. It is a short trail, just a mile and half each way to a large, bald rock that looks out over Mount Pisgah, part of the Blue Ridge Mountain chain. But on this day, I was struggling.

That opened up the conversation about how our bodies are changing and things that we had done easily when we were younger, were not as easy now. And there is more awareness of injury. How we process this awareness impacts how we feel about ourselves. Accepting that we experience exercise or activity differently in our bodies than we once did, does not mean that we stop doing these things. And it does not mean that we beat ourselves about not being as strong or able or flexible or any of the other things we tell ourselves.

As Paul Long said when I interviewed him. “Where attention goes, energy flows.” Shifting our attention to what we enjoy about the activity and how we can enjoy it, will improve the overall experience.

Annie and I love the mountains and we want to get out on the trails as often as possible. I learned that she had been hiking with a friend weekly the last 2 years. This has helped her keep her hiking legs during the pandemic. I have only recently started back hiking, really since this spring. I am working on getting in shape for my trip to Glacier National Park in July. I was disappointed in myself that I was struggling to climb Glassy Mountain and we eventually turned back. Was it the stomach upset I was experiencing that made the climb more difficult? Was it the pace we were keeping or the high humidity? Was it being out of shape and older? Probably all of that. But staying in this mindset of disappointment was taking away my enjoyment of our time in nature and being together.

The mindset shift was to accept the limitations I was feeling this day. This happens. Some days we feel more physically fit and more energized than other days. Acceptance.

My joy came from spending time with my good friend, not getting to the top of the mountain. That will be for another day. I will be back!

Who are you now? The importance of purpose

Every article about roles and transition starts with a recitation of all the roles and/or transitions the author has gone through.

This story is not about me (until later). This story is about some of the people I have worked with or known, as they were going through transitions. One of the stories is not happy. One has a positive outcome. And then my story ties in purpose.

The names of the people in this article have been changed.

Greg – Lonely and lacking purpose

There was Greg. He was in the Senior Executive Service with the US government. He had a staff, notoriety, and responsibility. He set agendas, investigated safety violations at nuclear facilities, sat in a lot of meetings. Every weekday morning, he put on a shirt and tie, commuted into Washington, DC, and every weekday evening he came home exhausted and counting down the days to retirement. He also talked about all the people he knew who had retired and died shortly after retirement. He was afraid that would happen to him.

He was looking forward to long days on the trout streams, time sitting in tree stands waiting for deer to appear. He did some of that. But he was lonely. He had not developed friendships outside of work. He had a difficult relationship with his son. His marriage had ended. When he wasn’t hunting or fishing, he had little sense of purpose. His roles in life had changed dramatically and he was not adjusting well to that.

As he predicted, he did develop a terminal illness and passed away within two years of his retirement. I do not believe this happened just because he was lonely and purposeless. He was also a smoker. But in the end, he did not have the desire to get healthy, change his live, develop meaning in his life and I do believe that contributed to his death.

Sally – excited about new possibilities

Sally, on the other hand, knew she needed more in her life. She had retired as a teacher for children with special needs. She told me she always had a plan and now, after two years of retirement, she was floundering. She had lots of thoughts and ideas about things she might like to do, but no plan, no direction. After a few months of coaching, she was feeling rejuvenated. She had a direction, a 6-month and 12-month plan. She was discovering new roles and new purpose for her life.

She decided to go back to school to study some creative work that she was excited about and that she thought would be beneficial if she worked with kids again. The course work did not work out, but she found some local artisans that she developed a relationship with and began learning from them. She learned that she was emotionally strong and resilient. She recognized her ability to connect with people with humor, empathy and support. She is experiencing more energy and enthusiasm for what is next.

Finding my purpose at this stage of life

What about me? I did not start my adult life with strong role definitions. I dropped out of college to get married, I was a mother at 23 and divorced with two children at 28. At that time, I went back to school to get my degree. Even as I went to work to support my children, my strongest role definition was as Mom. I took pride in my work and earned approval for the work I did, but at the end of the day, I wanted to be a good Mom. One of my most difficult transitions was when my children left home and I was no longer “needed” as Mom. It took me several years to figure out who I was and who I wanted to be. I went to Georgetown University and earned a certificate in Change Leadership in 2000. I took coach training and became certified as a coach in 2013. I had my own business for a while, a KidzArt franchise. I went back into corporate as a Director of Training. Lots of roles, but I still did not feel like I had found the role that felt right for this stage in my life. Until I started the Hey, Boomer show and started coaching people going through the transition from their career to what’s next. Now I am a broadcaster/podcaster and coach. I am also still a mother and a daughter and a sister. I am a member of some organizations. I am a friend. But when someone asks me what I do, I say I am a broadcaster/podcaster and a coach.

Finding a purpose, finding a meaning, feeling useful and relevant are three important attributes for a successful transition. From the stories above, you do not see BIG CAPITAL P- Purpose. You saw that Greg felt lonely, he had lost his sense of purpose when he walked away from his work. You saw Sally find a sense of purpose in her creative work and her desire to share it with children. And you see me living my purpose in bringing you guests with important and meaningful messages, and coaching people in transition or getting ready to transition, to find their sense of purpose and meaning.

The graphic says that “Life begins with purpose.” To me this means you have a sense that what you spend your time doing has meaning. It may be teaching English as a Second Language, it may be developing new cooking skills, it may be learning to be a master gardener, it may be volunteering, it may be registering people to vote. Whatever it is for you, it gives you meaning and energy.

My next coaching program, called “What’s Next” is starting on August 2^nd. It will run for 6-weeks. For more information check out https://heyboomer.biz/coaching

What can we do as elders?

I am a grandmother, and my heart is breaking for the families in Uvalde, TX. I am a grandmother, and I cannot imagine how my children and grandchildren are processing another school shooting. I cannot imagine parents worrying about sending their children to school. School is supposed to be a safe place for children. And the children, they are still adjusting to being back in school after being afraid of the Coronvirus. Now, how many children have increased trauma because of the fear of gun violence?

When we grew up, the most safety training we got in school was how to line up for a fire drill and where our rendezvous point was in case we got separated from our class. Now, students and teachers go through active shooter drills.

Before I moved to SC, I was living the Northern Virginia area. I lived there when the Beltway sniper was randomly shooting people in parking lots and at gas stations. I remember being scared whenever I had to fill up my car. I would try to put myself between the car door and anyone who might be shooting from in front of me. I remember being scared walking through a parking lot and looking around and trying to get inside as quickly as possible. That was back in 2002. It ended. The sniper was caught.

Today our children and grandchildren have no sense of an ending where they can resume feeling safe. Everyday they face the risk of being someplace where there might be an active shooter, most likely with a semi-automatic weapon.

We, as the adults in their lives, do our best to help them feel some sense of safety and security. But the question is;

“How do we stop gun violence?

NBC News reported that 2200 children died from gun-related deaths in 2020.

The number of active shooter incidents — which the FBI describes as events in which someone is engaged in killing or attempting to kill people in a populated area — has reached new highs in the last decade. There were 61 active shooter incidents last year, according to FBI data, which topped the previous year’s record of 40 incidents.

KILLED.

Are we becoming immune to this word? Violence is reported to us every night on the news. Images of death, both from Ukraine and local violence appear in our social media feeds. Local news tells us about someone being KILLED at least weekly, if not more. But the word is used so often are we becoming immune?

How do we stop this gun violence?

Children need to feel safe at school. The pandemic has already stressed their feelings of security. Parents need to feel safe sending their children to school.

I am not anti-gun. My late husband was a hunter. He did not need a semi-automatic rifle to shoot animals. I personally did not understand hunting, but he grew up hunting and he loved the sport of it and being in nature. He studied the sport, practiced, and donated what he shot to Hunters for the Hungry.

What I don’t understand is how anyone can be opposed to background checks before purchasing a gun? How can anyone be opposed to a waiting period, a cooling off period, before purchasing a gun? I know the arguments, if we make it more difficult to buy a gun legally, only criminals will have guns.

Most of the legal gun owners are not murderers. Why do many of them so adamantly defend their right to own all types of guns, without any background checks or safety training or cooling off period? These guns they defend may end up one day taking the life of their loved one.

A little history

Did you know that the NRA was started in 1871 to improve the marksmanship of men so that in case of another war, our militia would be prepared? It also promoted the British sport of elite shooting.

Heather Cox Richardson, a political historian, wrote in her newsletter yesterday that “In 1931, amid fears of bootlegger gangs, the NRA backed federal legislation to limit concealed weapons; prevent possession by criminals, the mentally ill and children; to require all dealers to be licensed; and to require background checks before delivery. It backed the 1934 National Firearms Act, and parts of the 1968 Gun Control Act, designed to stop what seemed to be America’s hurtle toward violence in that turbulent decade.

It wasn’t until the mid-70’s that their focus shifted away from sport and riflery to opposing “gun control.” You can read her full article here and subscribe to her Letters from an American.

How can we stop the senseless violence? Diane Wolke-Rogers, a history teacher at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, gave a TED talk, about 2 months after the shooting at the high school. It is emotional as well as a history lesson on the 2nd amendment and the beginning of the NRA. Well worth listening to.

So, what can we do? Get involved. Call your congressmen. Vote. Please don’t tell me my vote doesn’t count. Maybe I won’t be able to vote out Lindsay Graham. But the more of us who vote, the more our voices will be heard, and one day, one day, we will evolve into more compassionate human beings.

We are the elders, the grandparents, the generation of “make love, not war.” We are the role models for our children and grandchildren. Show up for them. Get engaged for them. Let’s leave behind a legacy we can be proud of.

Defining our Choices – Walkabout #9

Holly is my web designer and we had been trying to catch up for our walkabout for probably 6 weeks. Something kept getting in the way and it was delightful to meet Holly and Daisy in Falls Park last Friday.

Meet Daisy

Holly and I met about 9 months ago for coffee in Flat Rock, NC. We sat outside and as we talked, we discovered things we had in common, like UNC-Asheville, single living, being business owners, politics … It was one of those encounters where you feel comfortable right away and are sorry when the time is up, and you both know you have to leave.

As I mentioned, we both own our own businesses, and we recognize the challenges and rewards of working for ourselves. The loneliness of having to be our own inspiration and motivation, as well as appreciating the solitude needed when creating and thinking. The concerns when business is slow and no money is coming in and the rewards of delivering a good product.

We have also been going through an evolution in our businesses. Holly was an event planner who started creating websites to promote events. She was a marketer who used her skills to promote the events on social media. The more she did this work, the more she realized that she really enjoyed the creativity of website creation, and she has migrated from event planning and marketing to creating web designs that help businesses and organizations present themselves in their best light.

When I started Hey, Boomer, it was in response to the pandemic shut down. I knew I needed to feel relevant and useful, and I thought there would be a lot of other people who felt that way also. At the time I really had no other plans than to present an inspiring live show on Facebook. Since that time two years ago, I have learned so much about producing a show and podcasting. I have also been using my coach training to develop and provide What’s Next Coaching to those who are looking at this next chapter of life with some anxiety and confusion. So, my business has been transitioning from delivering one live broadcast a week, into simultaneous live broadcasting, podcasting and coaching.

How nice to have a friend to talk with that can relate to these kinds of changes.

The Park

Falls Park was particularly lovely as we walked the trails within the park. Lush greenery lined the paths and many of the flowers and bulbs were in full bloom. We slipped in behind the stage to walk the stairs there and enjoy the sounds of the creek as it runs down the hill to the Reedy River. This also gave Daisy a chance to lap up some of the cool waters of the creek.

The temperature was perfect. Started out cool and looked like rain, but it warmed up and the clouds cleared. As we wrapped up our walk, we sat outside with coffee and continued our conversation. Seems to be a pattern of coffee drinking with us.

Defining Your Lifestyle

Holly and I have lived on our own for a while. There are parts about living alone that we really like. We are the masters of our own time. We can have as much quiet time to read or work or write as we want. We can wake up when we want to and go to sleep when we want to. We can eat what we want … when we want. We can listen to any music we like or watch any TV show we like. Solitary living can be very nice, especially if you have introvert tendencies. We both find that we need our quiet time to recharge.

And yet, we both enjoy being in a relationship. It is figuring out how to share space and share time that is the challenge (opportunity), especially at our time in life when we have set patterns and habits.

We talked about this. We talked about reframing our thinking around this. We don’t have to share space and time the way anyone else does. We can define, with our partners, how it works best for us. Is one of you a morning person and the other likes to sleep in? Do you prefer to read at night and your partner wants to go out regularly? What about meals, are you a meal planner and they like to graze? Is marriage in the cards, living together, or living apart – together, which is gaining popularity. Probably not a one-time conversation, but an important conversation.

Boomers – redefining again

The Boomer generation has been one of redefinition. From the women’s movement and birth control, to couples choosing to have children or not, to women having careers and now redefining this next chapter of our lives.

What’s Next is up to each of us. Politically, socially, environmentally, culturally, we can all choose how we want to create our own realities and involvements.

Trust Your Instincts and Carry Water

Walkabout #8

We were on a mission, to find the pond at The Star Fort – Ninety Six National Historic Site, a revolutionary battlefield in Greenwood County, SC. The last time we had walked this site, the trail to the pond was closed. I thought I had a good remembrance of where the trail to the pond was.

First Misdirection

We were hardly parked and out of the car before we ran into someone we knew who was just finishing up her walk. After a short exchange of hello’s, David asked her if she knew where the pond was. She was sure she knew, and she sent us off in the opposite direction from where I thought we should go. “Walk to the structure that looks like a fancy deer stand, go left off the paved path, and that will take you right to the pond.” David felt confident, I was not so sure, but off we went to follow our friends’ directions. Going left by the fancy deer stand took us a short distance to a gravel road. Hmm, which way here? Right or left? There were no signs indicating the direction of the pond. We went right for a little way, but having no idea where we were, we back tracked to the paved trail.

Second misdirection

Seeing another walker resting on a bench about 100 yards away, we thought we’d ask him. He was certain also, that he knew where the pond was. He even pulled out his All-Trails app to try to show us. “Go straight” he said. “You can’t miss it.”

We headed off in the direction he pointed (again opposite of where I thought the pond was), and kept going straight until we ran into another gravel road, or maybe it was the same gravel road we had recently been on? Right or left? Again, no sign. This time we turned left and after a short walk we saw the main road ahead. Not wanting to walk the black top, we veered off onto another path that we hoped would take us back to the parking lot of the Star Fort Historic Site.

Omen?

Some animal had lost its life on this section and the skeleton was scattered around the trail. Was this an omen that we were again headed in the wrong direction. By now, I was trusting my instincts and felt that we were headed back to the parking lot.

Backup Support

Once we got to the car, David was ready to be done. He was frustrated and his Fitbit told him we had walked close to 5000 steps. I didn’t want to give up, but I did want a drink. And I wanted to find that pond, fulfill our mission. I talked about the sense of accomplishment we would feel once we found it. I said I should have trusted my instincts in the first place and headed off in the direction I remembered. David looked skeptical. I suggested we go to the Visitor Center and ask the ranger. He agreed to that.

The volunteer at the desk, and the ranger, pulled out a map and pointed us in the direction I originally wanted to go. “Take the Goudy Trail to the Cherokee Trail,” they said, “and that will take you to the pond.” We were barely out the door before the volunteer came out and said she would show us. She hadn’t been to the pond in 6-7 years, and she thought going there again was something she wanted to do. David seemed to feel better about having a guide, and off we went.

Donna, the guide, was a history buff. She shared some history with us, not specifically about Star Fort, but interesting stories. We also talked about how she lost her husband to Covid. We talked about her granddaughter who was having a baby soon, her job as an administrative assistant at Lander University for 30 faculty members and should she stay in her big house or downsize. Walking and talking we passed an unmarked crossroad trail. She didn’t notice it. I wondered about it.

A little way past that, Donna stopped. She thought we had gone too far. She was unsure. I mentioned seeing the crossroad trail. We decided to head back and look for the sign that would indicate it was the Cherokee Trail. There was no sign, but looking at the map, we all thought this must be the Cherokee Trail. We agreed to try it.

The Cherokee Trail – maybe?

It was a nicely shaded trail; wildflowers were expressing their delicate new growth along the side of the trail and we kept walking. And walking and walking. By now, we were trusting my instinct that we were headed in the right direction, following the blue blazes on the trees, because there still had been no sign. In his beautiful, deep voice David said, “I see water through the trees.” We had found the pond! Success!

It was now close to lunch time, and we were hungry. We also had made the mistake of not carrying water and we were thirsty. We had achieved our mission after four miles of walking in almost every direction. Time to head back to the fort parking lot and get lunch and water.

Lessons Learned

Why didn’t I trust my instincts initially? Our friend seemed so sure, it created some self-doubt in me. And yet I have learned over and over in life to trust my instincts. I can say without hesitation, every time I made a choice that seemed to be counter to my instincts or my intuition, it did not turn out well.

I did feel a sense of accomplishment that we found the pond, but we did not linger. As I said we were hungry and thirsty. Next time. Now we know where we are going, and we will be more prepared. Even David was glad we continued on. He told me so later.

Have a sense of adventure. I had my phone with me so if we had become hopelessly lost, we could have called for help. I did open the All-Trails app and was able to track where we had been and where we were going. Reasonable adventure adds spice to our lives. I do not want to jump out of an airplane or bungy jump off a bridge. If that is your thing, go for it. But I like to push my comfort zone a little bit, just to know that I can.

Always carry water on a trail! Enough said about that!

A Renewal Walkabout

Walkabout #6

I like words. I always pick one or two words at the beginning of the year that help keep me focused and motivated as the year goes forward. As a reminder, my words for 2022 are Mastery and Acceptance.

This weekend, when I did my walkabout, I thought about another word … Renewal. Spring is a time of renewal. The plants are starting to peek their heads up to welcome and thrive in the warmer weather. Walkers and bike riders were out enjoying the Swamp Rabbit Trail, a 22-mile rails to trails network here in Greenville, SC.

I started my walkabout this weekend at the Swamp Rabbit Café and Grocery. The place was hopping (pun intended) with folks enjoying a morning latte and a fresh muffin or scone. These early spring mornings start out cool, but quickly warm up as the sun reaches higher in the sky. With the warming day, the outside tables and benches were full.

The Merriam-Webster definition of renewal is:

To make like new: restore to freshness, vigor or perfection

To regenerate: formed or created again: spiritually reborn

After almost 2-years of Covid isolation, I could feel the rebirth of coming together with friends, hearing the laughter and seeing the smiles of folks that were finally able to enjoy the day without fear.

Recycle Rabbit

For me, a walk along the Swamp Rabbit Trail is a time for reflection and renewal. If I am walking by myself, I can get lost in the sounds of the birds, and I can be stopped by the public art along the trail. When I walk with a friend, I am more focused on our conversation, and it takes a bit more effort to notice the surroundings. On this day, I set an intention to notice as well as share conversation. We left the Swamp Rabbit Café and Grocery and headed in the direction of the City of Greenville. The Recycle Rabbit was an appropriate first figure to come across, being that it was Easter Sunday. Keep Greenville County Beautiful commissioned this work to raise awareness of how litter is impacting natural resources and wildlife throughout the area. I saw the Easter Bunny in the Recycle Rabbit, doing its civic duty.

It also reminded me of a friend who always brings a trash bag with her on her walks so that she can pick up trash she finds along the way. I did not see trash along the portion of the trail we walked on Sunday, but you certainly see it along the roadways. Imagine a renewed sense of pride and responsibility if everyone stopped leaving trash along our roadways and waterways?

Loss and Renewal

These past years, we have experienced a lot of loss. Two of my friends recently lost their mothers. Other friends lost their long-term partners. Many of us have lost jobs. Life is like that. We live in chapters. I have often described my transitions as moving into “chapter next.” We all move from loss at our own tempos and moving into renewal and reinvention can feel like one-step forward and two-steps back. We see this in nature also, especially in spring. Gentle flowers and early vegetables begin to emerge, only to be hit by a late frost. And still, life goes on. Loss and renewal, rebirth, reinvention are all parts of life.

More public art

Further down the trail were two complementary art pieces. One was a bench with a bronze casting of running shoes that had belonged to the former president of the Greenville Track Club. Directly across from this is a multi-colored mobile called “The Runner,” nicknamed Ethyl. It is a kinetic sculpture designed for movement to capture what it feels like to run. Unfortunately, there was no wind on this day, so maybe it was a runner at rest.

About two miles from where we started is The Commons. It is a restored series of warehouses designed to create a “pedestrian – and family friendly gathering space.” There are restaurants and bakeries, indoor and outdoor seating, office space and retail space. It is a wonderful stopping off spot to relax and refresh along the trail. And talk about renewal. The former dilapidated warehouse space is modern and fresh and thriving.

When I got home from my walk, I continued to think about what renewal means to me, particularly this spring, particularly as I am working to grow Hey, Boomer. I am committing to renew my focus on my words for this year.

Renewed Commitment

I try to constantly remind myself to be more accepting, more tolerant. We all know how family can push our buttons. This is an area where I recognize that acceptance is loving and although I don’t always succeed, awareness is helping me be more accepting. Accepting change, in our bodies and our abilities, is another way I am finding that acceptance is helpful. As I say in my podcast, “we are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream,” and I am aware that the changes we experience as we age will change how I pursue that new dream.

Renewing my focus on mastery means committing to spend more time on the courses I signed up for and continuing to implement innovations and improvements to grow the reach of Hey, Boomer. It also means being braver about reaching out to sponsors. It means asking current listeners to encourage friends and family to subscribe so that I can grow the email list along with the number of listeners.

Just like the new leaves on the trees and the flowers and vegetables rising to meet the sun, I am in a renewal phase. Will you join me in renewing your commitments to yourself?

Healing, Caring and Crafting

Walkabout #5

“Hi Heidi, what are you doing?”

“I am organizing my new home office space, so I can start coaching families.”

That is how the telephone walkabout with my sister, Heidi, began. I was supposed to go to Atlanta to get in a real walk with her. But as I am recovering, and apparently, she is succumbing to this upper respiratory crud, we decided to talk on the phone.

Heidi has always been a refuge for damaged people and all animals. As a young girl she raised rabbits and collected friends who needed her love and acceptance. In college, she studied to be a special education teacher. But it wasn’t enough for Heidi to work in the special education classroom in the public schools. She worked with the severely emotionally and physically handicapped children in separate facilities. She loved this work. Any little breakthrough she saw in the children brought her joy.

Once she had her two sons, her focus shifted to caring for and encouraging them. She was involved in their school, and this was also a time when her creativity flourished. She quilted. She made porcelain dolls. Maybe she needed to have her own creative, feminine haven with all the male testosterone in the house.

By the time her boys had left for college, she had settled in Greenville, SC. With more time on her hands, she decided to open a bead shop in downtown Greenville. She created an atmosphere in the bead shop that not only drew crafters, but also drew people who needed a respite from whatever was happening in their lives. The shop became a place of healing and creating. Can you see the theme in Heidi’s story? Creativity and caring/healing. When she finally had to close the shop because of rising rents downtown, it was a loss that is still felt by some of her patrons.

Heidi moved to Atlanta about 5 years ago. As happens with any change or transition, it took a while to find her purpose again. A few years ago, she took a job at a residential recovery facility for people with substance use disorder. She recognizes the struggles the residents are dealing with. She told me she has developed more empathy and patience and less judgment through this work.

But now she is ready to move on. Retire is the word she used; now that she has turned 65 and qualifies for Medicare. She wants to work fewer hours, so she has more time for her crafts and self-care.

She has agreed to work part-time (20 hrs.) as a coach for an organization that coaches families of people in recovery. Her current place of employment has asked her to stay on part-time (another 20 hrs.) to continue her work with medical records.

Which is how we started the conversation, with her organizing a home office to use for coaching and possibly some remote work for her current employer. Time will tell whether this arrangement will give her the flexibility she is looking for in “retirement.”

One of my favorite poets is Mary Oliver. She wrote, “what is the gift that I should bring to the world?” Heidi’s gift has always been caring for the ones who need some extra care. In this next act of her life, she will be experimenting with her new arrangements. And she brings her gifts with her.

Oh, and the animals? Heidi has a pet gecko, Gordon.

She is actually a semi-permanent foster grandmother to Gordon. He will keep her company in her new office.

My walkabout with bronchitis

Being sick is a buzz kill!

At first, I thought it was allergies. When allergy medicine was not improving things, I took the first to two at-home Covid tests. Both came back negative. Finally on Sunday, when the coughing would not stop and I had developed pinkeye, I went to urgent care. Diagnosed with acute bronchitis and acute conjunctivitis. This has been exhausting, both physically and emotionally.

I was raised with the mantra

“I AM HEALTHY, I AM STRONG, NOTHING ABOUT ME WILL GO WRONG.”

Seriously, if I didn’t feel well, I was supposed to “snap out of it,” “get over it,” and repeat that mantra. Once, when my mother was away, my dad decided to take all three of us kids to the county fair. I had a stomachache and did not feel much like riding the rides. “Snap out of it,” he said. “You will be alright.” I tried. My mother got home the next day, took my temperature and took me to the doctor. They rushed me to the hospital for an appendectomy. I guess I could not have “snapped out” of that.

I still believe(d) that sickness is a sign of weakness. When this current episode started coming on last week, I was determined to beat it. I meditated and visualized my antibodies fighting with the germs and winning. I took hot baths and drank hot tea. I took extra vitamins. I repeated my mantra. And in spite of everything, I got sicker. Everyday, coughing more, less and less of a voice. It was draining.

Finally, I had to give in. I would get up in the morning, take a shower and be ready for a nap. UGH. This was not like me. But at that moment, it was all I could do.

I am looking forward to being able to breathe once more, cough less and find my voice again.

So what have I learned from my walk-about with bronchitis?

Illness is not a sign of weakness; it is an illness. Listen to my body and get the rest I need, rather than fighting it.
So many people care. I had many offers of help and wishes for recovery. Being such an independent woman that was hard for me to accept, and it was nice to take in.
When I went down the rabbit hole of despair and felt like I would never stop coughing, no matter what I did, I called a friend. In my very raspy voice, I spoke my misery and he very kindly listened and encouraged me that I would get better.
I realized that my belief that illness was a sign of weakness not only hurts me, but it also hurts others. I apologized to my boyfriend for being so impatient with him the last time he did not feel well.

I am hoping to resume my real walkabouts next week. Stay tuned.

Friendship is about connection

Hey, Boomer Walk-about #4

I was at the beautiful campus of Furman University in Greenville, SC. It must have been time for scheduled campus tours because there were lots of parents and students walking around or sitting on the lawn in groups. The trees were just starting to bloom, but no baby ducks in the pond yet.

overlooking the clock tower at Furman University in Greenville, SC

Laura was at Veteran’s Park in Arlington TX. Veterans Park stands in remembrance of those citizens of Arlington who served our country through their military service and her grandfather Jack is memorialized there. It is the only park in the city with a heavily used disc golf course and in a nod to Texas culture, there is an equestrian trail. At 103 acres, she walked through the Texas wildscape and xeriscape gardens during our call.

Together we were on Hey, Boomer Walk-about #4.

This was an experiment. Part of my vision for Hey, Boomer is to build a community without walls, where we can connect with each other, build relationships and support as we go through the many transitions we face at this stage in our lives. Sure, we could have visited over Zoom, but since Covid, we are so connected to our desks and our laptops, for me it is time to get back out into nature and actually talk with people.

I called Laura on the phone, and we began our walk. The nice thing about walking with someone, is that you are with them, in that moment. This is an opportunity to listen and share and connect, without the distraction of websites or paper on your desk, or chores around the house.

Laura was a guest on Hey, Boomer in November 2020. She talked to us about Reverse Mentorship. One of the things Laura does is work with international university students, mentoring them during their transition to the US and their transitions to the professional world. She shared how they also mentor her on technology and culture in their countries.

Laura is originally from Texas, but had been living in Greenville, SC when I met her. She is in Dallas now to be with her 92-year-old grandmother, spending quality time with her while it is available. We talked about Covid and some of the lessons learned from the pandemic. In addition to making more time for family, she is reconsidering her latest solopreneur venture. As someone who has always worked in a People function, she is missing the value of being part of a team working toward common goals. Connection is important to Laura personally and professionally. Meanwhile, she has expatriate clients and students she is coaching for US assimilation and career mobility in addition to business clients for people initiatives. Like many professionals, she has taken the approach of location fluidity.

Spending time with her grandmother has been good for both of them. Her grandmother is in good health and now that Covid restrictions are less, she holds a weekly “game day” with some of her friends. They play strategy games, which keeps them sharp and socially connected. They even let Laura play sometimes, peppering their stories and anecdotes with rich laughter. A welcome respite in a serious world.

During the pandemic, Laura volunteered to deliver meals to older adults who could not get out, and she helped with some of their technology questions, so they could stay connected.

Laura is one of the best networkers I know. She might meet someone that could be a potential connection for Hey, Boomer and she sends me a note. We talked about how I want Hey, Boomer to grow and she had some suggestions of people to reach out to and meetups to look into. I have an old high school friend in Dallas that I connected her with.

At the end of our walk, I sat down on one of the benches outside of the Furman bookstore and we talked about some of the things that were going on in the world. Just like we would have done if we were sitting across from each other at a coffee shop. These walks are helping me realize that friendship means connecting. It does not mean that we have to be in the same town or in the same state. It does mean being willing to share and listen, support and empathize.

Thank you, Laura for joining me on the 4^th Hey, Boomer Walk-about.

Starting over and staying hopeful – Walkabout #3

We all have a story to tell. Janet and I had never met in person, but we had connected on Facebook. I was looking forward to meeting her for our walk. It turned out to be a beautiful day at Butler Springs Park, early spring blooms were popping up, there was a gentle, warm breeze and we recognized each other immediately.

We all have stories to tell

After the initial first greetings, I asked Janet to tell me about herself. She started by telling me that there was not much to tell. As you all know, having lived life into our Boomer years and beyond, we have a myriad of stories and learnings to share. We don’t always take the time to look at them, until someone is ready to listen.

Janet initially wanted to be a nurse. She enrolled in college, but after one semester, she knew that nursing (all the sciences) was not for her. Lucky for her, she had begun working in a retail store and realized that she enjoyed the merchandising aspects of retail, so she changed her major to merchandising. That turned out to be a good choice and she enjoyed that for a while.

But the desire to help others, which is why she initially wanted to be a nurse, was still strong. She decided to study to be a dental technician and worked at that for a while. She was getting closer to finding what she wanted, but this still was not it.

Janet was raised in upstate NY, where the lake effect snows pile up each winter. She really wanted to move to Florida, and before she could make that move, her parents and her sister moved to FL. The incentive to move was strong, and she finally joined them.

Finding her purpose

Two important events happened once she got to Florida. She met her husband, and she went back to school. This time to get a degree in social work. Janet felt that she had found the right field for her. While in school, each student had to do an internship. One of her fellow students interned with a hospice group and when she described her work, Janet knew that is what she wanted to do.

She continued her education at FSU, where she got a master’s degree in Social Work, and she worked as a social worker with hospice in Florida and South Carolina. She and her husband moved to SC in 1998. They were married for 27 years before he passed in 2015.

Loss and grief

As you know from many statistics, there are more single women than men in the over 65 age group. After her husband passed, Janet knew that eventually she wanted another partner. She ventured into the online dating world and met Greg about 5 years ago. They were both retired and soon were spending all their time together. Then suddenly, just about a year ago, Greg became ill and passed away. Grieving his passing has been difficult because they were enjoying so much time together. “It was not supposed to be this way,” Janet said. When her first husband passed, he had been in rehab for months, so there was time to prepare. When Greg passed, it was more sudden, she was not prepared.

Starting over again is hard. She is attending a grief support group. She has joined Senior Action for the exercise classes and socialization. She has her church family. But it is still lonely. She would like someone to go to dinner with, see shows or even share walks. She feels ready to try online dating again. Of course, she is staying alert for all the scammers on the dating sites.

Staying hopeful

It was inspiring to me that she was doing all these self-care activities, senior action, exercise, church and now online dating again. I am not allowed to tell you how old Janet is. I can say that she looks great and is in great shape. In spite of her loss, she is staying hopeful. And as you can tell from her story, Janet is a lifelong learner.

We got to talking about “what’s next.” When you are in the grieving process, it is hard to know what each day holds. Thinking about what’s next sometimes seems impossible, and our mortality is more present as we age. I asked what she liked doing as a child. Playing outdoors, “swinging,” she said. Since we were at the park, we got on the swings. We didn’t swing high, but we did some swinging and we sat on the swings and talked, like two girlfriends, until it started to rain.

Are we doing enough?

Hey, Boomer Walkabout #2

It was very cold on Sunday morning, 21 degrees. I wasn’t sure we were going to be up to walking in that kind of chill. Luckily for us, it warmed up into the 40’s by the time of our walk, the sun was high, and the sky was vibrantly blue.

Gayle and I decided to walk a section of the Swamp Rabbit Trail, from the Greenville Zoo to the Former Cleveland Park Stable site, and then looped around until we got back to the Zoo. The trail has been built on a now defunct rail bed and currently stretches for 22 miles.

The Big Dog Show Exhibit

We were pleasantly surprised to find The Big Dog Show, a large-scale temporary art exhibition at the former Cleveland Park Stable site. This is part of Greenville’s Arts in Public Places Program. As our walk began, we were talking about the sadness and helplessness we were feeling around the war in Ukraine, so coming upon this exhibit helped to lift our spirits. Many families were out enjoying the day, taking pictures with the sculptures and wandering down along the Reedy River. This section of the trail also includes some exercise stops for an added workout for the walkers.

Pandemic Learning

Gayle retired shortly before the pandemic. She had been the Director of the childcare program at her church and loved working with the parents and children. But she felt it was the right time to retire. Then we went into lockdown.

We talked about how the pandemic has changed us. Gayle used to think she had to be around people. She learned to become more comfortable being with herself. She also learned that she was a doer, and not having a sense of purpose that involved giving back to the community, was difficult for her.

I also wanted to be involved and found my purpose in working to provide inspiration about what is possible as we age. Hey, Boomer was born out of the pandemic and my desire to build a supportive community. As I learned more about the harmfulness of loneliness as we age, I knew I wanted to make a conscious effort to build my relationships. That is part of my wish to have a weekly Hey, Boomer walkabout. I am curious about other people, and I look forward to what I can learn on my weekly walks. I also look forward to what I can share and the relationships we are building.

Gayle found her involvement as a volunteer at Place of Hope. Place of Hope serves the chronically homeless individuals in Greenville County. They come in the morning for a shower, laundry services and maybe some clean socks, before they head over to Project Host for a meal.

Gayle is building relationships with the people who come to the Place of Hope. She likes greeting them in the morning, seeing their smiles and offering some kind words. Most of the guests have lived on the streets for years, some in tent cities and some you may find sleeping on park benches or in store fronts. Most do not want to stay in shelters. Yet they find a sense of community among each other and with the volunteers. Recently, they lost two members of this community to a house fire, where they were sleeping to try to stay warm.

I asked her how she finds inner peace, not just with all that is happening in the world, but also volunteering in an area that (to me) seems so hopeless.

“You have to find it in yourself,” she said. She prays, she goes to the dog park for some socialization, she sees friends.

Are we doing enough?

Are we doing enough? That is always the question we ask ourselves. But is that the right question? Maybe the better question is, “are we living our values?” Gayle is volunteering directly in the community. She sees the people she is helping; she sees them as individuals struggling with addictions and health issues, and individuals who deserve and appreciate her kindness. She is living her values of helping and building relationships.

I too am living my values. My value of inspiring others to be all they want to be. My value of teaching and motivating and sparking ideas. I rarely see my community to know if I am having an impact. These walkabouts help me connect and answer the question “am I doing enough.” Internally, it is comforting to be living my values.

What I learned about Happiness, Joy and Friendship on my First Walk-about

My inaugural Hey, Boomer walk-about was with my dear friend Doris McLallen. Doris wanted to walk around the Greer City Park. This is a 12-acre park, and I anticipated an hour or so of active walking and talking.

Doris had designed a more historic agenda for our walk, and I gladly went along with her plan. It began with a short drive into downtown Greer as she was showing me all the building that is going on in that town. Once we got to the park, our walk first took us to a sign that showed the eastern boundary line between the Cherokee Nation and the province of South Carolina from the end of the Cherokee war (1759-61) until 1777, when the boundary was expanded to the Savannah River.

We continued from there to the amphitheater within the park. As we sat down to imagine a performance on the stage, Doris asked me, “what do you do for enjoyment?”

Enjoyment

That question totally caught me off guard. I am the one usually asking questions. I had to think about that. What does enjoyment mean? That is a different question than “what do you like to do?” Could it be reading a book, or did it have to be more active than that? I enjoy going to concerts and dancing. I enjoy time with my kids and grandkids. I enjoy playing with my cat. I enjoy being out in nature. I enjoy working on the Hey, Boomer shows and meeting some of the amazing people that are my guests. Good question, Doris. Doris and her husband enjoy going to plays. She also enjoys reading, spending time with friends, being out in nature and the spirituality she finds in her church.

When we got up to walk again, we passed a fountain that apparently changes colors to reflect the occasion. Pink for breast cancer awareness, purple for Alzheimer’s awareness, and it will soon be green for Saint Patrick’s Day. Our next rest stop was to a covered porch swing on the other side of the fountain. And it was time for Doris’s next question. “What do you do to relax?”

Relaxation

True confession, that was a harder question for me. I don’t relax much and when I do, I have to give myself permission to relax. I spend many hours in my office working on Hey, Boomer (finding guests, working on promotions, writing scripts, writing blogs, researching). When I am not doing that, I am doing the chores of daily living (paying bills, cooking, cleaning up, making phone calls). But every once in awhile I give myself permission to relax. That generally involves spending time with people I love or reading just for the fun of it or watching a favorite TV show.

One of the benefits of having a walk-about with friends is that it is also a way to relax, to just be with my friend and not worry about what other thing(s) are not getting done. I have never been a great “relaxer.” Thank you, Doris for helping me to think more about this.

As we continued our walk past the restored train depot and through beautifully restored downtown Greer with its cobbled streets, we got into a discussion about what makes us happy. We agreed that “Happy” is a transitory feeling, it comes and goes. So, the question became, “can a person feel joy, minus the feeling of happiness?” I had to do more research on this. Here is what I learned.

Joy vs. Happiness

Happiness comes from external factors. Material things, people, places and experiences.

Joy is more of an internal feeling that comes from being at peace with who you are, where you are, and why you are. Joy feels more stable and secure because it cannot be thrown off (like happiness) when something goes wrong.

I believe the answer is that a person can experience the internal feeling of joy, of being at peace with themselves, even when things go wrong, and they may feel sad or disappointed at the same time. What do you think?

Navel Gazing

The funny thing is, Doris told me she was not one for “navel gazing.” She did not spend a lot of time questioning why things are the way they are or why she is the way she is. Navel gazing is one of my favorite things to do. I am very introspective and always curious and trying to learn why things happen the way they do and what can I do about it. Maybe if I “navel gazed” less, I would experience more inner peace, more joy. Hmm, something else to ponder on. 😊

Sunsets and Friendship

We ended our walk sitting on a bench between the charming chapel of the Episcopal Church and the vestry in downtown Greer. The sun was setting over the steeple and we were appreciating the time we had spent together. When I got home, I got the most beautiful text from Doris. She said, “What is happy? Where can we find joy? For me, a heart to heart on a bench with a friend is a joy … and looking up, a blessing.”

I could not agree more!